Raw Blossom
by The Lady Gen
Summary: Nobu and Sayuri. Love does not always come in neat clean packages. A tale of romance and love that kindles slowly.
1. Chapter 1

I decided that I would write a Memoir's fanfic because the original one never sat well with me. Sayuri, forgive me, always acted too much like a man. I mean this in the sense that a woman will look deeper and decide what is best for all. She would have known that Nobu loved her in his own way and she would have returned that love. I do not own M.O. G!

Mother sat across from me in the informal dinning room, smoking her pipe. I looked down at my bowl of rice and pickles and wished she wouldn't. The smoke was offsetting to my stomach and I had only so many hours to eat and rest before my evening engagements.

"Before the end of this month, you will have a Danna," Mother announced to me, taking a break from her wretched pipe.

"Who is that, mother?" I asked, setting down my chopsticks respectfully and clasping my chilled hands in front of me.

"Nobu Toshikazu. Only a fool would pass up an offer like his." Mother's eyes glowed at the mention of money.

"But Mother" I protested gently, "I'm too young to have a Danna! Mameha thinks..."

"What Mameha thinks is nothing in this Okiya._ I _make the decisions here. What is done is done, anyways. The paper work is being drawn up and I have already seen Toshikazu's solicitor."

I sat dumbly, looking down at my rice and pickles. I knew this day was coming. Mameha had warned me of Nobu's intentions. She had caught me alone yesterday and had whispered excitedly into my ear that Nobu was going to make arrangements with Mother and the financial package was most impressive!

I should have been pleased.

Apparently Mother thought so as well because she gave me an annoyed look before picking up her pipe again.

"He is a powerful man. An excellent provider with the war approaching. You should be happy that someone will provide for the rice in your bowl as well as the fripperies that you are accustomed to. When the Americans join the war, Japan will tighten it's belt and we will have nothing. The okiya will have nothing."

I stared mutely at my bowl, not daring to challenge her. What she said was true. Nobu was a powerful man. His company was in excellent standing with the government. No doubt he would provide well for us if worse came to worse.

Still I was troubled. I could not put into words why.

I thought of the Chairman. His handkerchief was still hidden under the tatami mats of my room. Once I belonged to Nobu, I was lost to him forever.

That is if he ever thought of me.

It was foolish to think so. In all our years of knowing each other, he had only given me the most cursory of glances. Our meetings were polite. Nothing more.

I thought of something that Mameha had once told me. About becoming Geisha because we have no other choice.

Did I really have any choice?

"Yes, Mother" I said. She nodded, pipe still in mouth.

"Don't act like a sack of rice. Be pretty and smile. Remember your training and your manners. Be a Geisha."

"Yes, Mother"

"Good. Go rest. You have many engagements tonight. Your customers don't want to see a tired Geisha pouring them sake."

My mouth was dry and my tongue heavy. I left my bowl of rice on the table and went to my room.

The maid was nowhere in sight so I spread out my futon myself and laid down. I had an hour before I had to get ready in earnest. Auntie would wake me up in time to get into my Kimmono and arrange my make up.

It was rare that I had an hour to myself. I should have used this time for sleeping. A look at the schedule in Yoko's room told me that tonight would be a long one.

But instead of sleeping, I used this time to think.

I came from a world of poverty. A simple fishing village. My mother would have been embarrassed to enter this okia as a maid. It was so far from the world that she grew up in. The world that I used to belong to.

I was no longer that little girl Chiyo, the one that had a fisherman for a father and peasant for a mother.

I was Sayuri Nitta. The grey eyed Geisha of Gion.

I was not the most successful Geisha in Kyoto, but I was far from the worst. I was popular enough to keep Mother happy and myself too tired to care.

I had beautiful clothes to wear. Maids to pick up after me and wait on my every need. I had the esteem and admiration of several wealthy gentleman because of my beauty and graciousness.

I knew to complain of my life was selfish. I had come so far from nothing. Really, I should be grateful.

A picture came to my mind of my father picking out the grime of fish guts and other things between the ruts of his boat.

I use to be a fisherman's daughter.

I was a fool for thinking of the Chairman. I may have well as been asking for the moon.

I decided then to embrace my life. If Nobu wanted to be my Danna, I would accept him.

He was brisk and often times rude, but always honest. From what I've heard from others, he was a brave soldier in Manchuria.

He tried to save another man's life.

His looks did not bother me, they only showed that he was strong to his convictions. It was a symbol of his strength.

If that strength sometimes came out as anger or abruptness, I told myself that I would treat it as if it came from a troubled dog. I had used that analogy in the past as I watched dumbstruck when he would reproach an uneasy Maiko into tears.

A dog does not bite someone he is fond of.

Nobu was kind, to me anyways, in his own way. If I was careful, I would never give him reason to growl.

I went to sleep, dreaming of whimpering dogs.

…...

Auntie woke me up in time to put on my make-up and then to summon Mr. Bekku who came to wrap my obi.

I had done my best to look attractive that evening. Yoko had told me that my biggest engagement was Nobu's company party at the Ichiriki.

I had picked out a Kimmono in dark sea blue colors with a pattern of horses at the bottom. My obi was gold with purple threads.

To make myself appear more mature, Nobu was so much older than I, I choose a deep red for my lip color. I applied it heavily.

Hatsummomo came into my room as I was applying my blush.

"What do you want" I asked without fear. I did not even bother to set down my brush.

"So little Sayuri is to have a Danna. Nobu Toshikazu! I knew this day would come!"

"Yes, I knew it as well. I knew that I would have a Danna when _you_ have none."

Hatsummomo smiled twistedly.

"Yes, you will lie down with a scarred half-man. That is _your_ Danna, little Chiyo! At least I had a full one."

"_When_ you had one" I corrected her. She glared at me.

"You won't be so confident when you see him without his robes on and there is only one arm! Who knows what else is missing down there, Miss Sayuri!" she spat.

"Leave,"I snarled.

"With pleasure. Lots of it."

When I was sure that she was gone, I threw my make up brush down angrily.

Jarring the fragile legs of my make up stand, I wrenched open one it's door and reached for my jewelry case.

Taking out a wrapped box I found the Comb that Nobu had given me a year ago.

It was a half star shaped comb in a showy red color. Nobu had mentioned that his mother had worn something similar.

It was an antique and no doubt dreadfully expensive. No other man had given me as fine as a gift.

With trembling fingers, I put into my hair, making sure that it was situated where it would show.

Looking into the mirror, I realized that it suited me. It was bright and yet elegant. So many hair pieces fell short of this.

I had never worn the comb beyond that night when Hatsummomo had tried to humiliate me and Mameha in the tea house.

I knew that thoughts of the Chairman had kept me from wearing it further.

Tonight there would be no thoughts of the Chairman.

He was the past.

Nobu was going to be my future.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a step of determination in my person that night. I lifted my feet with uncommon care as I navigated the cobbled streets to reach my last party, the Iwamura Company engagement at the Ichiriki.

At previous banquets, I had let my concentration go. Mameha would have been ashamed at my unusual reticent conversation.

I said little and hoped that my customers would say much. I was reserving all my energy for the upcoming event where I would lay eyes on Nobu and read his intentions.

Mameha had suggested long ago that Nobu was interested only in a physical relationship. He had bid aggressively for my mizuage, but not enough to win the contest between the Baron and Dr. Crab.

What then could hold him to me? What attracted him enough to present himself as my Danna?

It was a well known fact that Nobu did not care for Geisha.

"Superficial butterflies. Empty headed idiots." he had said to me in disgust one time, after an ambitious Geisha had tried to hold court with him, knowing of his successful business ventures. I believe the woman was in the market for a wealthy Danna and she would not be deterred by Nobu's scars.

The woman had barely escaped with her pride intact.

That description, although accurate was not exactly conducive to engaging in a close relationship with a Geisha.

I was a Geisha. Why me?

When I reached the entrance way, I took a moment to unfold my fan. I held it in front of my face. It would give me time in a crowded room to seek out Nobu before anyone called attention to me.

A maid directed me to the party and slid open the door. Making a quick bow, I found myself lost in the crowd of people, searching for Nobu.

Several prominent Geisha were there, but they were too busy entertaining their customers. A man bumped into me, spilling some beer on my sock. He apologized refaced while I immediately put him at ease.

My ruse to hide behind my fan was foiled. Nobu saw me. He was sitting at the table. A beer was set before him.

I bowed to the man before making my way towards Nobu.

I bowed, making sure that the comb would glint as I bent my head.

"Good evening Nobu-san"

"You are late. I have been sitting here waiting for you."

"Forgive me, Nobu-san. I had previous engagements and it took long in getting here."

"Hmm..." he said gruffly. "Sit."

I shuffled over beside him.

"It is a large banquet, Nobu-san. You must be pleased at the turn out your company has gathered."

"This is nothing. It means nothing. Just fools getting drunk off sake and pretty faces."

"Is that not what banquets are for? To bask in the glow of beautiful women and drink?" I asked carefully. Pulling my sleeves out of the way, I pushed his beer towards him and he took it.

Drinking from it, he looked at the room and then back at me.

"Yes. But not for me. The prettiest face was missing."

I blushed quickly and looked the way.

"You are wearing the comb I gave you" Nobu commented. I touched it self consciously.

"It is a beautiful gift" I said.

"The head it sits on brings out it's beauty" Nobu-san said. Flicking his eyes upward to meet mine, "I would give you finer better things."

"I do not require them" I replied graciously, signaling the maid for a fresh glass of beer.

"No" Nobu said slowly, "You do not. But it will be my duty to give them to you."

"In a long manner of speaking?" I asked. He nodded.

"I presented myself to your Okiya in order to become your Danna."

I was silent.

The room rang in laughter and conversation around us but somehow we were in our own world.

"I arranged a financial settlement that I hope will be to your liking" Nobu said, picking up his glass and taking another sip.

"I am most grateful" I told him at last.

It seemed there would be no easy transition in this role. I hardly knew what to say to him, but say something I must.

I must have remained silent too long because Nobu took a look at my face and growled out gruffly, "Are you pleased with the arrangement, Sayuri?"

Silence loomed over my head and my tongue was stupidly still. I cast my mind for something to say.

"Peach pitts" I said.

"What?"

"You had once told me that you would make do with anything, like peach pits and find them useful. You said you would throw them at someone, actually" I smiled, "Someone that you disliked."

"That's an odd thing to say" Nobu remarked.

"Yes. It is."I watched him drink his beer and I gathered my courage to begin again.

"I was thinking that it would be pleasing to know someone that was resourceful enough to throw peach pitts. Especially at someone they did not like."

Nobu was still looking at me in puzzlement and mild annoyance.

"Are you saying that I displease you? Perhaps you would like to throw peach pitts at me?"

I laughed. Nobu smiled grimly.

"No. That is not what I am saying. I think that I would like to be in a company of a man that would throw peach pitts. Such resourcefulness is refreshing. Invigorating."

"It is" Nobu agreed, giving me a long stare that made my back tingle with cold.


	3. Chapter 3

*Review anyone?

Walking beside Nobu in the business district of Kyoto, I held my hand out as it began to drizzle slightly. We had just finished attending a Company meet and greet with one of Iwamura's greatest supplier companies. Nobu thought it would be useful to have a geisha at his side as he was forced to be social.

It had gone well of course, but because of this "forced" socialness, Nobu was in a bad mood.

"It's raining" Nobu said, scowling at the sky.

"It feels lovely" I said, touching the element that people said was responsible for the color of my eyes.

"We will get wet"Nobu muttered. "Where is the damn driver? I don't pay that fool to take it easy while I get soaked in the rain."

"I'm sure he is looking for the address as we speak" I soothed. "Look, over there, a boy is selling some paper umbrellas. Perhaps Nobu would like to buy one?"

"Stay here," he ordered, "I don't want to have to find you too!"

I kept my position while Nobu walked over to the boy.

It had been a month since Nobu had become my Danna.

Sometimes it seemed longer. Some days it seemed shorter. I was always on a see-saw of emotional control when I was with Nobu-san. Despite Nobu being fond of me, there were hours where I was tempted to cry and smash things on the floor like a child. Nobu could be a hard and demanding man.

Several times I had escaped to Mameha's apartment to seek advice away from the prying eyes and ears of Hatsummomo, who was only to eager to see me fall from my pedestal of control. She would have only been too pleased to see Nobu do it to me. To push me down.

Mameha had calmed me down and reminded me that I would need much patience to deal with Nobu but in the end it would be worth it because he was a very generous man.

A generous danna.

The emerald hair pin I wore was a symbol of this generosity.

"Here" Nobu said coming back and unfolding the umbrella. "When I get a hold of that idiot, his job will be in peril."

"It's only a little rain Nobu-san"

"Soon there will be a heavy thunderstorm from the looks of it. I pay a fool in order to stand in a down pour of ran!" Nobu said, scowling further, beckoning me underneath the small shelter of the umbrella.

"You are getting wet" I told him. He shrugged and then looked angrily out at the street for his driver.

"Nobu-san must be patient with his driver. Today the streets were especially crowded and its easy to get lost in the business section."

"Nonsense. The man deserves to lose his job."

"Let this be the first mark against him," I suggested.

"There is no room for mistakes when you work for me" Nobu said firmly.

I withheld my sigh and looked around trying to maintain a cheerful aspect.

As a geisha, I worked for him. Everyday I was in a terror of making a mistake. The biggest mistake was revealing what I use to feel for the Chairman.

I had cast the Chairman from my mind that night I learned of Nobu's intentions towards me. It was a foolish child's dream.

For all I knew the Chairman's persona, his gentle way of speaking, was only a facade. Something to be cast away in private.

Even though Nobu's character was raw and rough, I knew all that he presented to me was true.

There would be no mistakes with the Chairman.

Or any other man.

"There he is" Nobu said as a black car veered toward us. He waited until the car was parked by the curb before motioning me forward.

Once we were seated in the car, he began to jerk off his jacket. It was wet from the rain.

The water made it stick to his other clothes.

I thought of asking but knew that I should do it without a word. Sometimes it is better to approach the angry dog without apologizing first.

I reached over and pulled his jacket off. Nobu gave me a look but I ignored him and calmly folded it in my lap.

I thought that Nobu-san was going to berate the driver for his lateness but he did not. Perhaps it was because of my presence. The poor man was going to get it later however. I had no doubts about that.

"Next week I am having a house party"Nobu told me.

"Yes?"

"I want you to come a few days before."

"Is this your house in the country?"

"Yes. It is a large estate, but not as ostentatious as that idiot Baron of Mameha's."

"I am assuming there are to be other geisha at this party?"

"You assume correctly."

"Do you wish that I should select some, perhaps Mameha?" Nobu grimaced.

"If you want, but make certain that the invitation does not extend to that Baron of hers."

"Yes" I said.

We were strangely silent for a while. It was the duty of a geisha to engage in conversation with her clients but Nobu was not a man to be forced into a talkative mood.

I was glad for the respite. While Nobu stared out his window, I turned inwards to my own thoughts.

A party at Nobu's country estate. I had not been outside of Gion for quite some time. Having grown up on the salty shores of Yoroido, I had not seen much in the way of foliage and trees.

I was pleased at the change of scenery but unsure of the time spent alone with Nobu. Since becoming my Danna, Nobu-san had been too busy attending to business affairs to spend any time alone with me.

This meant that we had yet to be inmate.

I stole a look at Nobu's scarred face.

Another visit to Mameha was in order. I needed to find out what I must do in order to please Nobu-san intimately.

…...

"Mameha, as you know, Nobu-san has been very busy with business matters this past month," I began. I picked up my tea cup and took a sip.

"Yes. According to the papers, business is better than ever" Mameha said, reaching for her own cup.

"Yes. Nobu-san is very pleased. Earlier today he had mentioned that he is giving a party at his country estate."

"Does he wish other geisha to be present at this party?"

"Yes. I am free to invite you to come."

"A party at Nobu's country house," Mameha mused. "This is slightly surprising. You know I have never been to any house of Nobu's."

"He has asked that I come a few days prior to the party. Alone." Mameha looked at me.

"I see."

"We have not yet been intimate" I admitted.

"Do you think you have reason to be afraid? I know Nobu-san is difficult to look at sometimes..."

"No, no Mameha. It is nothing like that. I do not mind that. However...I am unsure of what he wants."

"Nobu, although missing an arm, is like any other man, Sayuri"Mameha said wisely. "It will not take much on your part. Just do as he wishes."

"It is so hard to discern anything with Nobu-san" I said. "He baffles me. One moment I think he will be calm like a spring wind, but other times, he is like winter itself."

"I have known Nobu-san for years, Sayuri. He has never liked any Geisha except you. Once you have his regard, you have it forever. Nobu-san is loyal and generous to those that keep at his side. I am sure that you have nothing to fear from it. He would never harm you."

Inside, I knew this to be true. Nobu-san would never harm me. He might growl and snarl at me, but he would never bite.

At least I hoped so.

…...


	4. Chapter 4

*Sniff. How come nobody is reading this? I swear its pretty good.

Sitting in the car, I watched the trees as we sped past them.

Very different from Yoroido and Gion.

Everything was incredibly lush and green. It was a fine day for traveling.

Nobu did not pay much attention to the scenery. He had a stack of business papers in his lap. Occasionally he would murmur something to himself as he perused them. To my ears it sounded like curse words.

I kept my silence.

Once again I reflected how different this relationship was from other geisha and their Danna's. Under normal circumstance a geisha would rely on her training to goad the man into conversation. She would flirt and be playful with him. She might smile at him and tell an amusing story or joke.

This was what I was taught to do.

With other men I was quite successful at these coy games. I always knew what to say to put a man into good humor.

On the other hand, I was at a loss as how to ply Nobu with my words. Every time I looked at him, I second guessed myself. This never happened before he became my Danna. Now it was an effort to please him.

I stole another glance at Nobu.

"What?" he growled.

I gave him a smile.

"It is a beautiful day Nobu-san. Do you not think so?"

"What I think of the scenery does not make a difference in our business portfolio" he grumbled.

"Be that as it may, the trees are pleasing are they not?"

Nobu glanced at them. "They are trees. Nothing more."

"I think they are beautiful."

"You would. It is part of your artistic repertoire as a Geisha. I fancy you find the breeze throwing trash around in the street beautiful."

"I would not know about other geisha,or trash," I smiled, "But yes, I think there is a certain beauty in everything."

Nobu seemed to be listening to my words.

"I imagine that you do," he answered. His look told me that he was thinking about something.

"You know Nobu-san, I often think about trees a lot. They are a new and novel experience for me."

"How is that?" Nobu asked, lifted his papers and peering at them.

"I was born in a place where there were not many trees,"I answered.

I had never told Nobu any of my life history before becoming a geisha. It was probably something that I should not have done. It took away some of the glamor of my life. He saw me only as the finished product of Gion, a silk covered butterfly. He never knew that I was a fisherman's daughter, that my name used to be Chiyo and that as a child I ran without clothes or shoes on the rocks of Yoroido.

"There are many wooded areas in Kyoto" Nobu-san said.

"I was not born in Kyoto."

"I always imagined that you were," Nobu-san mused. I caught my lip so I would not smile.

"No. I was born in one of the coastal regions."

I did not tell him the name of my fishing village. I decided that it might be an unpleasant shock for him to know of my base born status.

I decided that I should not monopolize the conversation with topics about myself. Geisha are taught to think of their clients above all things. Now was the time to know Nobu-san beyond the tea house atmosphere.

"Where was Nobu-san born?"

"In Kyoto," he answered shortly.

"Is this your family home?"I asked.

"No. We never had a family estate."

"I invited Mameha to the party," I told him, changing the subject. I could tell that he was uncomfortable.

"That is good. The Chairman's secretary also ensured that there are three other geisha coming. We are expecting many important guests."

"I'm pleased to be spending time with Nobu-san before his party."

The words fell effortlessly from my lips but inside my heart beat with trepidation. Would Nobu think badly of me for being so bold?

"I am pleased also at this chance. Our company has been unbelievably busy this past month. With all successes comes more advances in hard work."

"Nobu-san must take care to rest then. I am sure that you deserve this break."

"I could work non-stop for days," he said. "Sometimes I do. Nights on end I find myself surpassing even the young men that work for us."

"You have much stamina," I commented. Nobu-san shrugged.

"In the army you had to have much stamina. There is no break in war."

"Indeed. I recall you telling me, years ago, when we first met that only three things matter in life, sumo, business and war."

Nobu smiled and it was genuine.

"You remember that?"

"I remember many things."

"You were a resourceful girl, even then."

"I am pleased that I could make Nobu-san smile. Then and now."

Nobu gave me a long burning glance. It was the kind that I knew was meant only for me. He stared at me like we were the only two people in the world.

He broke away first.

"We are almost there now" Nobu said. He checked his watch.


	5. Chapter 5

Nobu's house was a study in modern at war with the old world.

The older structuring of the house kept it from being completely modern looking, but yet, as I looked around at it's furnishing, I could tell that much thought went into the placement of new Western chairs and tables. The doors to each room, instead of being traditional sliding doors were French double doors done in yellow oak wood.

The rug that I was standing on was a beautiful Western Persian style rug with tassels.

"Nobu-san's house is very beautiful," I said looking around.

"The maids keep it up. I am barely here," Nobu said, putting his papers done on one table and watching the chauffeur bring in the luggage.

"Bring them all to my room," he told his driver. Ringing one of the household bells, a maid appeared in the foyer.

"Sayuri, you bought your dresser, I assume?"

"He will be here on the afternoon train, Nobu-san" I said.

"Fine. Direct the maids how you want your things then. One of them will show you upstairs."

I bowed quickly and followed a maid upstairs to Nobu's bedroom.

This room, unlike the rest of the house, was strictly Japanese in it's style and furniture. The traditional red tones of plank floors were muted here, but the rest was the same as any other Japanese bedroom .

I directed the maid as to the arrangement and hanging of my Kimono. I asked her to show me a guest bathroom so that I might arrange my make-up and perfumes there instead of cluttering of Nobu's personal bathroom.

This done, I went downstairs to find Nobu.

Mameha had told me several things that she had done for the Baron. Mind you, these were not manual things. Geisha are not wives. Instead, she had drawn baths for the Baron, supervised his flower arrangements and of course delivered conversation as well as provided an ever open ear to any of his.

She surmised that these were probably things that Nobu would want as well.

"After all, he is a man, like any other, Sayuri. Every man wishes to be comfortable," she told me.

Reaching the main floor, I asked a maid to direct me to Nobu-san. It turned out he was having a light lunch in his dinning room.

Another thing that Mameha had done for the Baron was supervising his lunch.

"Did the maid make herself useful?" Nobu asked when I entered the dinning room.

"Yes," I told him, taking my place at his side.

The maid was placing small dishes containing pickles, soy sauce, salted fish and braised tofu in front of Nobu as well as a large bowl of rice.

I immediately placed the smaller dishes in neat rows in easy reach of Nobu.

Nobu raised his eyes and gave me a look but once again I proved successful at ignoring him.

I was surprised however when the maid brought in a second bowl of rice and placed it in front of me.

Nobu must have read my puzzlement because he spoke.

"I wish that you would eat with me. You must be hungry after that long trip."

It was unusual for a geisha to dine with her customers. She might go to a restaurant to entertain there but she would never eat. It was considered the height of bad manners.

"If Nobu-san wishes it," I murmured.

"I do" he said.

A maid had also placed a pair of chop sticks at my right as well as a folded napkin. I took the napkin and unfolded it in my lap. From the corner of my eye, I watched Nobu as he deftly picked up his food with his chopsticks and ate with one hand.

Although I had seen him eat before, it never failed to me amaze me how well he did things with one arm. Physical deformities were not rare in Japan. Rather they were a normal occurrence because of the lack of medical care available. Still this did not stop others from making cruel jokes and calling Nobu Mr. Lizard.

I never had the courage to ask him if he minded these taunts. A self- made man, I doubted that much ever bothered him, especially what people thought of him.

We ate in silence for several minuets. I was still uncomfortable with my role eating at Nobu's side. Frantically I searched for something that I might do.

"What Nobu-san like some tea?" I saw a fresh pot of tea steaming away in front of me. Nobu nodded.

Remembering my earliest training with Mameha about how to seduce a man, I reached for the tea pot, allowing my long sleeve to fall back and reveal the underside of my arm. I set the tea pot down with a deliberate flourish.

In a silky motion, I curled my around the tea cup and handed it to Nobu.

His dark eyes glanced at my exposed arm. It was almost snow white against the rose of my Kimono. His gaze deepened, making me blush.

That had never happened before. Suddenly I felt like a fool for thinking that I could tease Nobu like any other paying customer.

Nobu reached for the cup and I felt his fingers touch mine. It was like an electric jolt.

The cup fell, and tea puddled on the floor.

In one smooth moment, Nobu dropped his chopsticks in his bowl and leaned over and grabbed my waist with his one arm.

I could feel the taught control of his muscles in that one arm. It was like being encircled by a tough chord of rope.

With my obi pressed against the dark lapels of his business jacket, he kissed me.

It was my first kiss.

I had always imagined my first kiss with the chairman. In my mind, I saw the two of us beneath a cherry blossom tree by the Shirakawa Bridge. His lips, I imagined, would be soft like a butterfly's wing. His touch would be gentle and unsure, like a boy's.

Nobu was not a boy.

His kiss and his touch told me that he was indeed a man. It was fiery and cold at the same time. I would liken it to a winter's freeze that leaves your limbs burning with the cold.

I was burning inside.

When I at last drew back, I was breathless. Nobu's dark eyes found mine and searched there for something.

It seemed that whatever he saw pleased him.

"Are you still hungry?" he asked. I shook my head no, afraid to speak because I knew my voice would waver.

Taking me by the hand, he gently led me by the arm upstairs. His fingers threaded loosely through mine.

I think he was giving me leave to pull back if I wanted to.

I did not. I followed him.

We went inside his bedroom. I went forward to help him off with his jacket but he held up his hand.

Just as deftly as he handled his chopsticks, Nobu's undid the buttons of his business coat and threw it on the bed. He unbuttoned the two top buttons of his white shirt and then was still.

I still there, still fully dressed trembling.

"Are you afraid?" he asked. His voice was uncharacteristically gentle.

"No," I said. My voice shook.

"Then what is the matter? Are you repulsed by my body? My scars?"

"No...it is just..."

"Yes?"

"When my mizuage happened..."

Nobu's face darkened.

"Yes?"

"I just thought that you were not interested in that," I told him.

"I did bid against the Doctor," he admitted. "But it lost it's appeal to me. Having you at a price for money... Ours is a relationship where I keep you financially, but I do not pay for the pleasure of lying next to you, treating you like a common prostitute."

"I see," I said. "And now? How is to be?"

"I give you the choice," he told me. " I would never force you."

"Nobu-san is an honorable man" I said.

"Honor has nothing to do with it" he told me almost angrily. "Do you wish to sleep away from me?"

I would have stepped towards Nobu-san and let him touch me out of pity. He had been my patron from the beginning. I owed him much.

And yet it was not pity that moved my hand to touch his face.

My fingers grazed his lips, gently like I was playing the shamisan. Gently I touched his lips and then his chin and then the edge of his face. I did not notice the scars. I did not notice that he was missing an arm beneath his pinned shirt.

My curiosity to know this man moved me closer to him.

The strength of Nobu's body once again astounded me. With quick steps I was encased in his arms and my Obi knot was being undone.


	6. Chapter 6

*For my two reviewers. Thank you! What happened? This use to be so popular! I want to cry! Do I continue?

Like in his gift giving, Nobu was a generous lover.

I had never known it could be this way.

Whenever I thought of what men and women did behind closed doors, I thought of Hatsummomo and her noodle chef. Or, even worse Dr. Crab and the Sugi boy. At any rate, whatever was done _that_ way was distasteful.

As a geisha, I had a low opinion of men. They were my income. I had to please them at all costs. I have entertained men at their worst, such as when they were drunk and rude. I have entertained them when they were beyond stupid, their remarks limpid like a dead worm.

At the end of their rude and vulgar, and often boring remarks, my job was to always smile and nod. Their words had the power to make me bob my head enthusiastically, as if every word was a fabulous haiku from the heavens.

I did this all for money.

With Nobu, it was different.

He could be rude. He could also be very cruel, but when he gave, it was freely, and deep down, it was kindly.

It was also true that he made my responses enthusiastic, but whatever his remarks were, they usually were sound and logical. Often, I thought he was brilliant. Others thought so too.

For what kind of man could turn around the tragedy of his life and become such a successful businessman?

I had worried aloud to Mameha about my fears of pleasing him, but now it seemed that I could put my fears to rest. When we came together, it was like dropping a stone into water.

It was hardly distasteful.

Perhaps, pleasing Nobu was easier than I thought. However, I warned myself not to count my rewards too quickly.

Unlike other men, Nobu did not have a wife. The Chairman had a wife and many children. Nobu often mentioned them to me in conversation.

Having a wife would not have hindered a geisha from entertaining her customers. Nor would it have stopped a man from coming to see a geisha. Such a thought was laughable! However, Mameha had warned me that men without wives were harder to please. They expected more because geisha were the only female source in their lives. No doubt they would require the attention and constancy that a wife could give them.

The question was though, was Nobu such a man?

Getting up, I softly asked Nobu if he required anything.

From his position on his futon, Nobu grunted and put his hand over his eyes.

I took that as a no and quietly slipped out of the room and into the guest bathroom.

After I tidied myself up, I found a maid and asked her if my dresser had arrived. She told me he had and I had her bring him upstairs and into one of the guest bedrooms.

Next I had her retrieve a kimono from Nobu's bedroom closet.

I found the guest bedroom and had Mr. Bekku help me into a fresh kimono. This one was a light spring one, the color of the underside of a conch shell, deep purple. Silver deer were dancing at the bottom. Matching it was a white and red obi.

I left my dresser in the hands of the household maid who would direct him where he would be staying. I felt more in control of the situation now that I had a fresh kimono on as well as a dash of my orange and vanilla perfume.

When I entered Nobu's bedroom, I expected him to still be lying on the futon, sleeping. But to my surprise he was awake.

He had already dressed himself in new clothing.

I gave a sort of surprised bow.

He turned to face me. I had expected a sort of half scowl grimace that he usually gave, but instead he smiled.

"Tell me, Sayuri, what is your secret? That you enchant every man that sees you, including all of Gion and Kyoto?"

"Nobu-san must be in a good mood if he is making jokes!"

"I am not joking, Sayuri. I only had tea with lunch but somehow your presence makes me feel drunk. It always has."

"My perfume is suppose to have an alcohol base to it, perhaps I should not wear it so heavily?"

"Or maybe it is your eyes? That yourself always reflects in them? Like your soul swimming in water?"

"Nobu-san you are an absolute poet!" I exclaimed.

"Hardly" he growled, now annoyed that I was not taking him seriously.

Trying to find a way to calm him, I went to my jewelry case which was placed on a shelf in Nobu's closet. Taking out the red star comb, I walked over to Nobu.

"Only a man with the heart of a poet could have picked out such a comb," I told him, showing it to him.

"It was only a trinket," he said, eying it and then taking it from my hands."But the moment I saw it, I thought of you. Strange, I had just met you."

I blushed.

"Nobu-san has always been in the habit of thinking too highly of me."

"Whatever the cost, it looks beautiful on you," he said.

He stepped closer and slid it into my hair. With his thumb, he caressed my temple.

"Beautiful" he said. "In the future, I will have to give you many more things so that you may bring out the beauty in them."

"Nobu-san has already given me so many fine gifts," I murmured.

"Nonsense. I am your Danna. It is my duty to give you things."

"In two days, the guests will be arriving and we will have to entertain them," he began, changing the subject. I nodded my understanding.

"If I may ask, do you know what geisha will be here, along with Mameha-san?"

"One named Chihiru and this girl they call Pumpkin."

"Pumpkin? The geisha that lives in my Okiya?" I was amazed.

"Yes...why? Is she not popular?" Nobu asked, concerned now about the entertainment for his guests.

"Yes, she is," I said, recalling the amount of money that she and Hatsumommo had continued to bring in to the Okiya. If they did not make so much money, I knew that mother would have liked to throw them out.

I now worried that Pumpkin would be coming to Nobu's party. Spending so much time around Hatsummomo had ruined her for any potential kindness. It had come to pass that we were truly rivals.

I imagined her trying to find any weakness to exploit in front of Nobu. It was an act that Hatsummomo would do.

Pumpkin had also known of my previous regard for the Chairman.

Mameha would be there, helping me, but would that be enough?

"This party is important. I would not have it if it weren't for this talk of war. If there is one thing I hate it is government officials and pretending to like them. However, we need the government to be on our side more than ever. If it came to war, they would shut us down."

"Is it that serious?" I murmured.

"Yes. I have lived through one war, and now it seems that I will live through another."

I thought of Mother and her remarks about Nobu-san being a valuable Danna in the event the war became a serious thing.

"I will do my best to ensure that things go smoothly, Nobu-san."

"See that you do," he said tiredly. "Come, I want to show you something that I bought for you."


	7. Chapter 7

*For Kittie, thank you! I love all my reviewers, few that they are. You guys make me think its worth it.

Nobu had given me a kimono.

Not unusual for a Danna to give his mistress such a gift. Certainly men in the past, including the Baron had given me such fine gifts of garments.

Nobu's however, exceeded them all. The Baron had given me an antique black five crested dragon Kimono, all fine designs done in first rate threads and silk. The Baron's gift was an expensive one, but given the circumstances in which I received it, it was not a treasured gift. It rated little in my mind. I was glad when mother laid it away, probably to be sold somewhere for an exuberant price.

I would not have cared if she threw it away in the street. Something that I doubt Mother did.

She liked money too much.

The Kimono that lay in the box in front of me was not black. I think Nobu was hoping to find some fabric to match my eyes. It was an ice blue Kimono with designs of the sea at the bottom. Whales and dolphins leapt over waves while golden suns and strands of sea weed waved about in the distance. Sea shells and starfish littered the hem. It was truly a work of art.

I felt that I was looking at a piece of the ocean when I beheld the spectacular gown.

"What a beautiful Kimono," I breathed. Nobu watched me with impassive eyes, trying to discreetly gauge my reaction.

"The color reminded me of you. I think it would be fitting for you to receive my guests wearing this."

"Surely they would be impressed as well," I murmured, touching the silk and marveling at its quality.

"It was crafted at my desire by a friend of mine. Arashino. He was at the Baron's party a year ago."

"Beautiful."

"There is a matching gold obi to go with it," Nobu commented offhandedly. "Arashino said he would have it delivered before the party. I gather it was taking him longer to complete than he thought initially."

I turned around and bowed low to Nobu, thanking him for the gift.

Nobu was annoyed with my gratitude.

"I am your Danna, Sayuri. Get up. I am supposed to shower you with gifts. It is not an uncommon occurrence."

I got up, slowly.

"All men like to be thanked, Nobu-san."

"Haven't I always told you that I am not like other men?" he growled.

I smiled at him.

"You have told me such things, but I would like to treat you like any man that has done me a kindness."

"Do you go around thanking every man that has ever done a kind thing for you?" Nobu asked sarcastically.

I thought of the Chairman and the day that he gave his handkerchief.

I had yet to thank him for his kindness that day.

"Not all men," I answered. Nobu gave me a look.

"I have some business matters to attend to. Amuse yourself for the rest of the day. The maids are at your disposal and there are paths outside that lead into the woods."

"Are you not going to take advantage of being away from Kyoto? Nobu-san has been saying that he has been working a great deal. Perhaps you should rest..."

"When I seek advice about how to handle the timing of my business affairs, I will ask for it. But until then leave me be."

I bowed my assent.

Nobu walked briskly out of the bedroom and downstairs. I imagined he had an office somewhere in the house devoted to affairs of business. It seemed even in this beautiful country estate, surrounded by woods, Nobu was determined to work, undeterred by matters of nature and beauty. Even myself was no obstacle to work where Nobu was concerned.

I thought of other men and how they would have sought to be cosseted and entertained constantly by a geisha. Every hour of the day would have been spent looking at this man or that one, telling him all the wonderful things that he wanted to hear.

Few understood just how demanding and tiresome a geisha's schedule was. They rarely had time to themselves. I supposed that I should have thanked Nobu for this respite, in my mind of course. But I didn't. I was a little off put by the abrupt manner in which he dismissed me. I suppose my ego had been inflated by years of being the center of attention. It's true that I had to listen to every man that I entertained as if the sun set and rose at his command, but it was also true that I was watched as if I myself brought the sun by my very presence.

I called the maid and asked her to bring my shawl before I set out to go wandering outside. She brought it quickly to me and I fastened it with a pearl enameled pin. Another gift from Nobu.

At last when I was wrapped and ready, I found myself excited. In Gion, I had walked by myself to the hairdressers, the paper shop and to Mameha's apartments a well as to my many engagements, but I was usually chauffeured by my dresser, or one of the maids.

Due to Hatsumomo's wild behavior, I guessed Mother did not put it past us to try to find boyfriends and meet them somewhere by ourselves.

Now that Nobu was my Danna, she did not have to worry anymore. I could not safely think in my mind of meeting with another man while being with Nobu-san. The thought of what he would do or say made my blood run cold.

That is why I decided to give up the Chairman. In my heart of hearts, I did not allow myself to love him.

The fact that I thought of him occasionally bought icy shivers to my spine.

Nobu was my Danna.

I belonged to him.

As I walked outside, I amused myself by keeping watch of all the novel things that I had not seen since childhood.

Rabbits were one. I saw big fat brown ones rushing in the high grass. Their big fat bodies moving like wild specks of dirt.

I smiled as a childhood memory, long forgotten, came to mind. My mother had loved rabbits. It was because she was born a rabbit, like I was born a monkey.

There were few rabbits in Yoroido. I guess it was because of the salty ground from the ocean.

I watched the rabbits until they all shied away from me, scared by the long shadow that I cast.

I made a turn and walked into a grouping of trees. There was a fluttering of birds in the distance, but other than that, the soft shuffling sound of my feet was the only noise heard. I walked for several minuets.

Quiet. Pure quiet.

The pine trees smelled fresh and their sap glistened on the outer edges of the bark. I put my hand on one of the trees and rubbed my fingers against the sap.

Like a hard sticky perfume, the scent clung to my skin.

I bent low and gathered some pine cones that had fallen at the base of the tree. I wanted some to bring back to the house. Like the tree, they carried the scent of the sap. Perhaps I could put them in bowls and have the maid place them in the bedroom.

I pondered something to carry them in.

It was a bit chilly, but I thought I would be fine without my shawl. I took it off, carefully clipping the pin to the undershirt of my kimono.

Spreading the shawl out on the needle covered ground, I began to toss cones into the middle of it. I thought that if Nobu would not come outside to see the trees, at least I could bring the essence of them to him.

I sorted through the pine cones, taking care to choose only the largest and most fragrant.

Another flock of birds passed overhead. I looked up to see their V formation in the sky. I smiled and then a raindrop landed on my nose, quickly followed by another.

It began to rain in earnest. It was not like the gentle spring rain that Nobu and I had experienced a week ago. This time, the wind blew from the north with hard gusts.

I gathered my pine cones into a bundle and the shawl to me.

It was not a far walk from the house. I had not gone far in the little woods.

Still, it was awkward walking briskly with the wind blowing the rain in my eyes. The width of my kimono only allowed me to take little steps.

Holding my hand in front of my eyes, I made it back to the house. The maid exclaimed frantically while she brought some towels and tea.

"Sayuri!" Nobu shouted.

He walked briskly towards me. I saw that he had his outer coat on.

"Where were you?" he thundered.

"I went outside," I said, puzzled. "You had told me that I might amuse myself."

"You were amusing yourself in a thunderstorm?" he asked. I made a face.

"I was outside when the rain came."

"Without a shawl? Your kimono is soaked through!"

"I had a shawl on when I left...but,"I gestured towards my bundled pine cones that now laid on the floor next to me.

"Please Nobu-san. Do not reprimand me like a child," I told him calmly. The maid hovered in the doorway.

"Run a hot bath," Nobu barked at her. She fled upstairs.

"You acted like a child, being in the rain without a shawl. Wouldn't you say?"

"It was not raining when I was going outside. People get caught in the rain Nobu-san. It happens."

"People also have the good sense to wear something more weather proof than a silk Kimono when that happens," he shot back.

"I'm going upstairs to change, Nobu-san" I told him getting up. He growled like he wanted to say more but I turned my back to him and left. I feared that if I stayed there too long, I would lose all politeness.

The maid had done as Nobu had asked and had drawn a hot bath.

I took my time in the bath tub, brooding over the angry words that Nobu threw at me. I felt his concern, but I also felt his derision.

When I was done, I had the maid summon my dresser and I was dressed in another Kimono. I choose a nondescript grey one with a dark blue obi. I took care only to make sure that the rain did not ruin my hair. The wax had protected it from getting wet and losing its shape.

For once I did not bother with make-up. I suspected that I was not going to be seeing much of Nobu tonight.

I looked at the window and noted that it was still raining. The sky had lost all sunshine and now it was as dark as night.

The maid had left a candle in the bedroom. I heard the phone ringing downstairs. I guessed Nobu would turn again to his matters of business.

I wished I had bought a kabuki magazine or a book, but I had none. For some reason, I did not bother the maid by asking her if she had any.

I sat by the window and watched the rain fall against the glass. Inside, I felt as heavy as the rain.

The maid knocked on the door and came into the room bearing a tray of tea and some small sweet cakes.

She set them before and inquired if I needed anything. I told her no and she went away.

The tea looked hot and inviting but I did not drink it. My lips were pressed into a thin tight line.

After an hour or so had passed, I gave up watching the rain and went in search of my dresser.

He undressed me and took the kimono away. I wore a light cotton sleeping robe when I entered Nobu's room again.

It was empty.

Nobu must be still working.

I perched on the futon and then laid myself back.

The room seemed chilly. I thought of asking the maid for another blanket. Once again I decided against.

I sighed in the dark room and then I drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

In the night, I dreamed many strange things.

I dreamt that I was back in the forest. The birds cawed over head and it was no longer raining. In my dream, I could smell the pine sap from the trees.

The Chairman was standing by the trees.

"Sayuri," he said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him. I looked around in confusion and in terror.

"Come smell the trees," he said, motioning for me to come to him.

"I must get back, Nobu-san..." I fumbled.

"Come here Sayuri. Look at the trees," he said.

I took a step towards him and then I stopped. My pearl pin that I had put inside my undershirt had fallen loose. It was now on the floor of the forest and I had stepped on it.

"Come,Sayuri!" the Chairman beckoned.

"My pin fell," I called to him. I took a step and then felt a sharp pain.

My foot was bleeding.

"Sayuri!"

"Charmain, I..." I walked towards him, wincing with each step.

To my horror, I realized that with each step I took, I was leaving a bloody footprint.

"Sayuri, come to me! You must smell the trees. I insist."

"My foot," I said, "It's bleeding!"

"Sayuri!"

"Sayuri!"

"Sayuri!"

Nobu was shaking me awake.

"Wake up! You are dreaming!"

Once again I marveled at the strength in Nobu's one arm. His grasp burned my arm from it's sheer strength.

"I am awake," I murmured.

"You were having a nightmare," he said. I nodded grimly.

"Was I saying anything?" I asked him, fearful of him catching me saying the Chairman's name.

"I was asleep, I heard you talking but I did not know what you were saying."

I rubbed my arm.

"I've hurt you, haven't I?" Nobu asked, watching me rub my arm.

"It's nothing," I told him, "Sometimes, I think you underestimate your strength, Nobu-san."

"Sometimes, I forget that people are more fragile than I am. You..."

He did not finish his sentence. He reached over and touched my arm. He caressed it and then moved up higher to touch my face.

"You are burning up."

"I am?" I pressed my hand to my cheek. It felt hot.

Nobu swore.

"It's nothing. I probably spent too much time in the bath."

"You have a fever."

"My skin feels warm but I feel fine otherwise. I am sure it will be gone by morning."

"I will get the maid, and she can fetch the doctor. There is one in the village..."

"No, I assure you I am fine. Its a small headache. Nothing more. By tomorrow it will be gone and I will only look foolish."

"That will be up to me to decide," Nobu said, rising from his futon and searching for his robe. I tried grasping his leg to keep him from leaving but he gently shoved me off and went in search of the maid.

Nobu came with another blanket and told me that the doctor was coming. I asked him what time it was.

"It's late," he answered.

He spread the blanket over me.

Encased by warmth, I closed my eyes and drifted off. Nobu stood watching me.

I was shaken gently awake when the doctor arrived.

He was a young, tired looking man, who appeared put out to be waken so late at late.

He took my temperature and assured Nobu it was just a small cold. He made me drink some water laced with laudanum and said he would be back tomorrow at a decent hour.

They door slid shut and I heard no more.


	9. Chapter 9

*Hey you guys, I am taking some liberty with the food here. I am not sure if they have hot pot in Japan, but its what I know. Thank you guys for reviewing. I giggle like a little girl when I read them. It means a lot. Its filling a void in my heart writing this fanfic. I loved Nobu from the start.

When the morning came, I felt the coolness that comes after the night of breaking a fever. It was a delightful and yet a tiring sensation.

When my dresser had finished tying my obi, I immediately went to check on my make-up and apply more. When I had insured that my cheeks were rosy red, I went downstairs in search of Nobu.

He was kneeling at the dinning room table, eating a bowl of rice with nato and okayu, a type of porridge made from rice. I said my good morning to him and bowed.

"You should be in bed still," he said, without looking up from his bowl. I told him that I was feeling quite well.

He insisted that I eat and called the maid and told her to bring me a bowl of rice porridge.

When she placed it before, the steam rose up in front of my face. I was not hungry, but I ate few spoonfuls to please Nobu.

At last Nobu pushed away his bowl and reached for the newspaper that lay in front of him. A quick look at the front told me that it was a business newspaper.

I cast about in my mind for something to say but came up with nothing. The weather I could not remark about. It would bring him back to his bad mood of yesterday.

The rain had stopped, but it was still an overcast day. From the window, I could see that everything was sill wet and moist from the rain. Stones in the garden appeared to be glittering with the water drops.

I wondered how the rabbits fared.

Nobu coughed and looked at his wrist watch.

"The Doctor will be here soon."

"Oh, Nobu-san, please do not go through so much trouble! I assure you that I am quite well."

"You are my responsibility, Sayuri. I have told you this before."

"I have been sick before Nobu. People do not die from colds."

"No matter." He turned his face back to his paper and ceased to pay me any mind.

Just like that,the decision was out of my hands.

When the maid came and told Nobu that the doctor had arrived, he got up from the table and motioned me to follow. Helplessly, I followed him.

We went into one of the sitting rooms and he told me to sit. The maid brought in the doctor.

It was not the same tired young man from last night. This was an older doctor.

Hidden behind a mop of white hair and spectacles, he examined my face, touching my neck , feeling for a fever.

He assured Nobu of my returning health. Nobu made a dismissive sound but on the whole looked satisfied.

After the doctor had left, Nobu turned to me and demanded that I not leave the house. Now was the time, I decided, to tease him back to a good mood. It was dangerous on my end, but I knew that Nobu tolerated many lapses in obedience and endured much teasing from me in the past.

And only me.

I had forgotten my power in the months that he had been my Danna.

"Certainly, Nobu-san. I will not leave the house through the door."

"Sayuri..." he growled, but I could tell it was just a low annoyed bark.

"I think I will take a chance and go out the window instead. Maybe go out on the roof?"

"Enough, Sayuri. Do not tease me."

"But that is what I am here for. To tease Nobu-san back into a better mood. Consider it a part of my geisha repertoire."

"Hmph..."

"If you continue to frown like that, you will have a wrinkle in your forehead the size of my thumb!"

Nobu relaxed his forehead but did not stop frowning.

"In order to relax, Nobu should play cards with me."

'I told you I do not have the time. I have business matters to attend to!"

"Everyone needs time to relax. Geisha, shop keepers, even business men!"

"Not this business man."

"Only for a little while, Nobu-san," I soothed, "Since you have forbidden me to go out on the rooftop and through the front door, I am without diversion."

"I was not aware that I was here for your diversion!" he said sarcastically, but I noticed that he did not look unhappy.

I had the maid fetch a pack of cards. Nobu and I settled at the dinning room table.

We played a two person card game. I was not very good at cards, but I played managably well. I had much practice as a geisha because some of customers would want to play cards instead of the usual drinking games. Nobu was quick to think and to calculate ratios. Many games, he beat me effortlessly.

"Sayuri, how many years of schooling have you had?" Nobu asked, as he shuffled the cards for a new game.

"It depends on how you look at it. Formal schooling? Maybe one year, perhaps two. As a geisha, several years."

"I suppose mathematics is not a part of your geisha repertoire?"

"No, it is not," I laughed. "I can count and divide and do other simple things."

"Would you like to know how to play cards better?" he asked.

"Certainly. Though I must warn Nobu-san, I am a slow learner." Nobu scoffed.

"Come here," he ordered. I went from my side of the table to his.

One by he laid the cards out and explained that I should be able to count my chances at having a certain card by the number given in a pack. He dealt the cards between us.

He picked a card and told me the probability of it being in the hand that was shuffled to me.

"With two people, it is much easier to guess what the other person has. When the game gets bigger, it gets more complicated."

Just like in life, I thought to myself. The more people involved, the messier it gets.

We played cards for the next hour. Nobu kept testing me, trying to make sure I understood the reasoning behind knowing the card ratios. I won't say by the end of our games that I was as good a player as Nobu, but I improved, if only on a minuscule level.

Nobu for his part, remained true to his competitive nature and did not let me win. There was a charm to that, I suppose. Most men would have let me win as a way to flirt or be kind. Nobu was different.

His challenge was kindness. I had not expected him to be so patient and to not laugh at my ignorance. Earlier, I had thought that I played passably well for a geisha. But now I knew that just because I could play the game, did not truly mean that I could play the game.

Each time I lost, he would give me a look. His look meant that he expected more from me.

We played until it was time to eat.

The maids brought in a hot pot, with tender slices of beef to be dipped in the boiling broth and cooked. While they brought in bowls of steamed rice and pickles, I folded back my sleeves to prepare Nobu's beef.

"One of the maids can do that," he told me. I shrugged helplessly and let one of the maids take Nobu's bowl. She dipped his beef and then the noodles in the pot and then put them in Nobu's dish. Nobu waited until she had finished preparing my dish before he started to eat.

"Tomorrow, the guests will be arriving," Nobu said. "The maids have seen all the room preparations as well as the meals."

"Mameha will be pleased to be finally seeing your estate." Nobu looked amused.

"I suppose everyone in Gion thinks I sleep in a cave, or under some sort of rock?"

"I think they think you sleep in your company office, or that you do not sleep at all," I answered carefully.

"You do not make money or build a successful business sleeping," Nobu said. He took another bite of his beef.

"I could think of people that do," I said.

Nobu raised his eyebrows.

"Prostitutes?"he asked.

"Yes," I said.

"I do not think they sleep all the time," Nobu joked. I smiled at him.

"No, and even their _sleep_ must be strenuous." I said this all with a demure face, while stirring my rice bowl. Nobu laughed harder.

"From such a pretty mouth, I did not expect a lewd statement,Sayuri. You keep surprising me."

"I'm hardly a mystery, Nobu-san. Everything I am is expressed on the outside. My eyes...what I say, as well as what I cannot do. As you saw earlier today. It is Nobu-san that is a mystery."

"Nonsense," Nobu said. "I have nothing to hide."

"I was not implying that you were hiding anything, Nobu-san. Rather, there are so many things that I do not know about you, for all our years of acquaintance."

"You may ask me anything you wish. I may not choose to answer." I smiled.

"Then I see there will always be things that I do not know about you."

"You know more than most people."

"I am not most people, Nobu-san," I laughed. He gave me a small smile.

"What do you want to know," he asked, reaching for a water glass. I quickly handed it to him.

"Where you ever married?"

"I was engaged before I left to Manchuria. It was an arranged marriage between our families. The girl was pretty, and I suppose pleasant enough. The engagement broke off when I returned." He pointed to his face.

"How unfair," I murmured.

It was her choosing. Her family was still willing to go through with it. They liked that I was a war hero and had burgeoning business prospects. Still, the girl found it so distasteful, and I hated the idea of forcing her."

"I"m sure she was quite young and foolish," I said. Nobu shrugged.

"I find most women foolish. Aside from you, and Mameha on occasion, I have no use for them."

"Strange that you occupy the teahouses of Gion much of the time," I mused.

"That was the Chairman's doing. I went along because he was my partner and much of it was for business functions. When I met you, I had more of a desire to go to Gion."

"And now?"

"And now I have you." I waved the maid in and had her serve Nobu tea. She placed a small dish of rice cakes and sweets in the middle of the table.

Inwardly I reflected what Nobu has just said. It felt strange hearing his sense of possession stated so clearly. I was a geisha. Many men paid for my time, and it was expected that I entertain them all. No one man could claim that he owned me. Even my Danna. Because there would always be a tomorrow where I would be expected to charm and engage another man aside from Nobu into conversation. It was my income.

Unless Nobu paid Mother an extraordinary amount of money, I could not abandon my trade.

It was going to be hard fine line to walk, having Nobu as my Danna. I began to understand what Mameha meant when she said he would be challenging.


	10. Chapter 10

Mr. Bekku had just finished tying my golden obi when a maid announced that Mameha and the other geisha had arrived. I thanked her and asked that she bring me my jewelry case from the other room.

Just as I was reaching for the red star comb, Nobu walked into the room.

"The guests have started to arrive. The maids are serving tea."

"I am sorry, but the obi just got here in time for Mr. Bekku to dress me."

"It looks very beautiful on you. I'm sure the rest of your geisha friends will be in titters about the design and price," Nobu remarked dryly.

"No doubt they will inquire into the generosity of my Danna."I told him, smiling as I put the comb in my hair.

Nobu watched me and then stepped forward.

"I have this for you." He held out to me a box. It was a jewelers box.

"Nobu-san is too generous!" I exclaimed.

"Are you going to take it or not? I can't stand here all day."

"Of course, Nobu-san. I am honored to receive gifts from you." I gave a quick bow while Nobu grimaced and thrust the box into my hands.

I opened the case. Inside was an opulent ruby ring. On closer inspection, it appeared to be in the shape of a peach. The gem must have been a rare one because it hovered between shades of red and orange.

"How beautiful!"

"I hope it fits," Nobu remarked. "Here," he said, sliding it on my finger.

I watched him with wide eyes. I was beyond pleased. It reminded me of the day he had given me the peach Pitt ruby outside the dances of the Old Capitol. I had been unhappy to have been forced to give the ruby to Mother. Luckily, Mameha had been right when she said it was only the beginning of many gifts.

"Are you ready?" Nobu asked. Looking at my ring, I nodded.

I followed him downstairs where our guests were gathered. I saw Mameha talking to the Chairman. I went over and greeted them.

"Chairman, it has been a long time since I have seen you. I hope you are well." I gave a short bow.

"Sayuri, the country air seems to agree with you. You are stunning tonight."

"It is a lovely Kimono, Sayuri," Mameha commented eying my obi and Kimono hem.

"A gift," I said.

"From a most generous Danna," she guessed. I nodded demurely.

"Nobu-san has excellent taste," Mameha said smugly.

"Please Chairman, would you have a drink?" I asked.

"A beer, if you will," he said. I waved down one of the maids that was serving drinks.

As I handed the Chairman his drink, Mameha asked,

"What manner of business is being discussed tonight, Chairman? I am most curious as to why Nobu-san has gone through the trouble of hosting his own party in his own house." The Chairman's eyes flicked over to where Nobu was talking with a man I did not know.

"A new finance in our company. A man named Yoshio Tanaka."

"Tanaka?" I asked, recalling the seemingly kind man that had taken my sister and myself away from Yoroido.

"Yes, that is his family name."

"Is he an older man?"

"No, he is quite young for one so successful. He has a powerful family backing him, but yet he shows surprising business guile naturally."

"Chairman, you sound worried," Mameha said.

"A bit," the Chairman said, with a thin smile. "Nobu and I are doing our best to convince him it would be better to become partners with Iwamura Electric rather than be a new competitor."

I looked over at Nobu-san, who appeared to be struggling to be cordial to Tanaka. Suddenly I understood his anxiety and aggression the past few days.

"Sayuri, did you see that Pumpkin is here?" Mameha said in a perfectly normal tone. I looked around the room, and indeed I could see Pumpkin talking to a group of men in the corner. In her hand she clutched a glass of sake.

Inwardly I winced.

"Excuse me, Sayuri, Mameha, but I must go over to Nobu-san. He looks like he might need my help."

"Of course, Chairman," I murmured. Mameha bowed.

"It is a truly beautiful Kimono,Sayuri," Mameha said when the Chairman had left.

"It is. I am so honored that Nobu gave it to me."

"The ring is lovely as well," Mameha said. "May I?"

I gave her my hand.

"Very pretty," she said. "I told you some time ago that it would be the first of many."

"I remember. As usual you are always right."

"I see that Pumpkin is here. I wonder if she is less dangerous by herself without Hatsumomo, or rather that is the trick of it all. To catch us unawares at a most important event."

"Pumpkin has been fully trained by her older sister," I said under my breath.

Mameha nodded.

"I fear you are right. No matter. We have no choice but to do our best."

"Our best..." I echoed, looking at Nobu-san.

…...

As dinner was being served, I found myself seated next to Nobu's hopeful financial backer, Yoshio Tanaka. Like the Chairman said, he was a young man, and yet there was a hardened, older look to his face, especially his eyes.

Because I was seated next to him, I was expected to serve him and to coversate with him. I am not sure that this is what Nobu-san had in mind, but things had become jostled in the dinning room when Pumpkin claimed a spot next to Nobu. Mameha gave me a short worried look before taking her place next to the Chairman.

I turned towards Tanaka and gave him a bright smile.

"Would you like some tea or perhaps a beer?"

Tanaka glanced at me and then settled back. His eyes stayed with me, touching on my face, my eyes and the ring on my finger. His eyes were impassive and cold but I suddenly felt unclothed.

"Sake."

I reached for the bottle and poured him some. A maid came around to our side of the table and served Tanaka a portion of grilled salmon on a bed of lettuce and pine nuts. He ate in silence for a few minuets and then he set down his chopsticks and turned towards me.

"So you are the famous grey eyed geisha of Gion. Tales have reached me in Tokyo of your beauty."

"Tales, I'm sure, which were greatly exaggerated. There are many beautiful blossoms in Gion. I am only one of them." Tanaka nodded coolly.

"You are not conceited I see, but you do not deny the compliment."

"As a geisha, people see what they want to see of me. It just happens that some find me pretty. There are others I am sure, who do not."

"I will not take away from your torrents of compliments by saying you are not beautiful. You are. I do not think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, but there is something about you that catches the eye." He glanced at my face again. I felt hot behind my white make-up. I glanced to where Nobu was sitting. Pumpkin was leaning over him pouring him sake.

"And yet your Danna is an ugly one armed man."

"Many find him a brilliant businessman." Tanaka shrugged.

"He must have been to secure a geisha of your standing." I stared at him dumbfounded.

Inwardly, my heart raced. I had never been in a situation like this. I was not sure of the appropriate answer. I could not display any anger or rudeness, and yet, I could not carry on in this vein.

"How do you enjoy the weather?"

Tanaka brushed aside my feeble attempt to change the subject.

"Tell me how much does a geisha of your standing cost? I see from the ring on your finger and the beautiful new Kimono you are wearing, your Danna has not scrimped anywhere."

"Nobu Toshikazu is a most generous Danna," I answered carefully.

"Is that all it takes, then, generosity?" Tanaka asked, his lips curling into a smile.

"My Danna is an honorable man,"I said.

"We have talked business all night, Nobu and I. We have yet to come to an understanding. He seems hardheaded in all aspects." Tanaka reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a card.

"If you wish to know, Sayuri, I too can be generous, but I leave honor at the door where it belongs." He put the card in front of me.

When I did not touch it, he frowned and then stood up.

"Forgive me Chairman, Nobu, but I must go to catch an early train back to Tokyo."

"I am sorry that you will miss the rest of the evening," the Chairman said. Nobu said nothing. Beside him, Pumpkin smirked.

"It was enjoyable," Tanaka said with a swift bow. Not looking at anyone in particular, he motioned me to follow him to the door. Instead of the maid, I was going to help him with his shoes and give him his coat. Nobu's nostrils widened in anger.

Thankfully, just then, Mameha got up to perform a dance. Another geisha, whose name I did not know began to tune her shamisan.

I got up and followed Tanaka. The maid opened the door for us and then closed it. The noise of the party was dulled in the quiet hallway.

Wordlessly, I followed him to the foyer. When I knelt to slip on his shoes, Tanaka put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me to the ground. Because I was kneeling on the ground, balanced precariously on the balls of my feet, I stumbled and fell almost onto my back.

Pushing his lips on mine, Tanaka attempted to kiss me. Disgusted, I pushed him back him. He persisted. I bit his tongue. He gave a grunt and let go. The slap that followed was unexpected. It was not powerful given the angle that came from it, but it jarred me just the same.

I scrambled to my feet and left him on the floor. The maids would let him out. I walked quickly into the dark hallway and dipped into a corner and waited until I heard the front door close shut. I waited a few more seconds until I was sure that the maid was gone as well.

When all was quiet, I let out a deep breath. I needed to find a mirror. I needed to make sure my make-up was untouched. If Nobu saw anything was amiss, he would suspect the worst. I did not want to be humiliated so publicly. I could only imagine the lies that Pumpkin was feeding him.

A tear began to slide down my cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

* Hi guys, I am back. Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I love the Nobu fans! Lately I have been too busy job hunting and making out last min. law school applications to write much but here is a chappie!

Few people realize how deeply a geisha's make-up can hide her emotions.

Sadness. Anger. Betrayal.

Fear.

All these things most customers will never see. It is all hidden behind an oblique pasty veneer.

What could I tell Nobu of this night?

What could I say that would not arose any anger or lingering suspicion in him? At first thought, all seemed hopeless. Nobu-san was like a smoldering fire, ready to incite at any given notice. It seemed impossible to avoid his ire. But then I gathered my calm. I found resolve and my emotions hardened. I had no other choice. The situation must play out, regardless of my tears.

My saving grace would be the mask that I wore. My pasty white make-up. After I hastily recovered it by making a quick trip upstairs, I knew that outwardly nothing would seem amiss. I had smoothed down the white smears on my cheeks and retouched the Kohl to my eyes and eyebrows. I was surprised at the steady hand I possessed as I reapplied my make-up.

My training had prepared me for situations like these. Although I had foolishly given way to tears, I had stilled them by being in control of my emotions. I set down my make-up brush with unnecessary force.

My make-up being repaired, I knew I had to go back to the party.

My Kimono rustled as I walked down the stairs and through the hallway. My feet made padded little steps on the carpeted floor. Smoothing my robes down with my finger tips, I took a breath and opened the door.

Bowing to the floor, I apologized for my lateness and made my way back to the table. The party was in full swing. The two geisha that the Chairman's secretary hired were playing a drinking game with some of the guests. Mameha was holding court with a handsome business man. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Except Nobu.

Pumpkin was sitting not too far off from him. She appeared to be talking enthusiastically to two young business associates and the Chairman. Her eyes flashed dangerously bright in a way that reminded me of Hatsumomo. Even though Hatsumomo was not here, I could feel her presence. The hairs on the back of my neck rose.

I made my way to Nobu-san.

Nobu sat holding his glass of whiskey, wearing a grim scowl of his face. I nodded cordially to him.

"Would Nobu-san like a fresh drink?"I asked.

"No," he said abruptly, slamming down the glass. From over his shoulder, Mameha gave me a concerned look.

I folded my hands in my lap and gave Nobu my most demure expression.

"Perhaps some tea?"

"I require nothing from you," he growled. He got up abruptly and went to the sliding door. He passed the Chairman and talked to him briefly. The Chairman's eyes flicked towards me and then towards Mameha. He nodded and Nobu passed him by and exited the room.

When the door clicked shut, I went over to Mameha. She pulled a fan from her obi and patted the area next to her. After offering a smile at the person sitting across from her, I took a seat and leaned over to hear what Mameha had to say.

She whispered, "While you were gone, Pumpkin managed to say how greatly Tanaka seemed to admire you."

"Indeed," I murmured. Pumpkin laughed shrilly.

"Nobu seemed greatly upset," she said in a low undertone. Her fan fluttered anxiously.

"I fear I will have to do much to repair this," I said, trying my best to hide my troubled face. Mameha glanced discreetly around the room to make sure no one was listening.

"Remember, Sayuri, Nobu is fond of you. If he weren't, he would have had you in tears before he left. I do not know what happened, or what Nobu-san thinks..."

"He will think I am a whore," I answered listlessly. I stared at Pumpkin, wondering how my childhood friend had become my worst enemy.

"You must smooth this over," Mameha said.

"Nothing happened," I told her. Mameha's lips tightened.

"You must smooth this over, all that matters is what he _comes_ to think. Facts are facts, but Nobu-san's facts are a world apart. Take care of this problem and smooth it over," Mameha repeated. I nodded my dereference to my older sister and then we returned our attention the party. In retrospect, I cannot remember a more tiresome party.

My thoughts were all in a flurry of fear. I had to work hard to mask my anxiety at facing Nobu-san. My smile trembled several times throughout the night and my attention wavered. Mameha did her best to help, flitting here and there like an excited butterfly.

The Chairman made excuses for Nobu, saying he was ill. I was thankful that he explained Nobu's absence. It made it more credible.

At last when the party came to a close, a maid came up to me with several envelopes full of cash gifts for the geisha that had attended. It was my job to distribute them at the end of the night. I stood at the door and bowed to each of the geisha while presenting them with their envelopes.

When it came time to give Pumpkin her envelope, I bowed and smiled cordially. Our eyes met, and a cold smile formed on my lips.

"Such an honor that you came," I said.

"Only the best for Sayuri and her Danna," she responded.

She took the envelope out of my hands and swept out the door and away into the night. I heard her laugh in the darkness.

Her perfume, a dark, musky scent, lingered in her wake.

Mameha came up to me to receive her envelope.

"Goodnight, Sayuri," she said. Leaning towards me, she whispered," Remember, Sayuri, in most respects Nobu-san is like any other man."

I told my older sister goodnight and bowed to the departing guests.

After the last car departed, I turned towards the house. I gave the maids lingering instructions as to the cleaning up of the room. I watched them carry out the used glasses and brush off the tatami mats.

When it was clear that there was nothing left for me to do, I mounted the stairs and made my way up to the room that Nobu and I shared.

I did not expect him to be asleep. My hand hesitated at the door. All the fear that I had been suppressing this night came rushing back.

I considered my options and knew that I had none.

Forward was my only direction.

I grasped the door nob and made my way into the room.

Nobu was sitting in a chair in the corner. He was nursing a glass of something.

A maid came up behind me and asked me if I needed help undressing. I almost jumped.

I glanced at Nobu . He did and said nothing. Taking my cue, I followed the maid into an outer dressing room.

Bekku had laid out a sleeping gown and robe for me to wear. The maid took off my kimono and obi and carried them to my dresser's room to be properly folded and stored.

I asked her to bring my jewelry case. While she was gone, I found a basin and a wet cloth and I began to take off my make-up.


	12. Chapter 12

I love this fanfic. I am so strange. I love my own work. This is my favorite to work on so far. Thank you for all your lovely reviews. While I am walking other people's dogs (this economy sucks) I am thinking of Nobu and Sayuri. My aim is to make Sayuri into a better person because of her relationship with Nobu. Thank you everyone.

After I had wiped my face clean, I tied sleeping my robe tightly in front of me and made my way back into the bedroom. I glanced behind my shoulder to make sure no maid was hovering before I made my way past the door.

Nobu was standing now, beside the window. He was fully dressed in the western style business suit he wore to the dinner party and holding his drink in his one hand. The dark color of the cloth made his face seem all the more aggressive. He was like a caged tiger and I was to be privy to his black stripes.

When he raised his face to look at me, I felt a cold shiver run through my body. It took everything that I had to stand my ground and not leave.

I had done nothing wrong.

He left the drink in his hand on the window sill. It clapped violently against the wood.

Taking my shoulders, he gave me a sort of half-shake. I thought for a moment that he would strike me.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then he gave a snarl and slammed it shut. He shoved me away from him. I recovered my balance quickly, saying nothing. Walking to where he had put his glass, he took it and threw it at the wall. I flinched.

The sharp smell of scotch blossomed in the air.

"Nobu," I said at last. My voice was thin and whispery. He looked at me, and in that look there was so much anguish. It was almost despair.

Then his eyes were shuttered. Emotionless. Looking straight ahead, he left the room.

I glanced at the spattered scotch and the glass fragments on the ground. I thought about calling for the maid but then decided against it. She could clean it up in the morning.

Tomorrow I was going back to Gion.

…...

It rained on the ride back to Gion. Nobu was silent. I did not dare make any conversation. He hid behind a mound of paper work and several Japanese Newspapers.

For my part, I looked outside and counted the passing trees.

When that got tedious, I counted the rain drops on the car window.

We kept our distance and our silence all the way to Gion.

He got out at the business section and instructed the driver to take me back to my Okiya. He did not look my way when he exited the car. As soon as he could, he turned his back to us and headed away to his office.

There is something to be said for a man that never looks back.

I did not hear from him for many days.

When he did contact me, it was through his secretary, who informed me of a engagement that Iwamura Electric was hosting at the Ichiriki. Nobu had requested my presence. It was to be held several days away.

I thought of writing a short note, but I did not know what to say. There was nothing to be said.

After all, I had done nothing wrong.

Things went on as before. Nobu made his generous payments towards my upkeep to the Okiya. I entertained at a vast rate. Mother was overjoyed at the income that was coming in. Hatsumomo was angry at the clipped remarks Mother made to her about the disparity between the money that she and Pumpkin made compared to the small fortune that I was bringing in. All she heard in the Okiya was praises of my success.

I was given preferential treatment because of this. Even though I was the daughter of the Okiya, after becoming Nobu's Mistress, my value skyrocketed. I ate what I wanted and when I wanted. The maid's answered my calls and demands first. I had first choice when selecting Kimono.

Pumpkin gave me sour looks, and I would often find Hatsumomo staring at me at odd times, as though she were trying to discern a new weakness in me so she could exploit it to her use.

I would have been concerned about the backlash that was going to ensue from the pair, but I was too busy entertaining and thinking of Nobu.

I took my worries to Mameha, who reassured me to give him some time. To approach Nobu uninvited would only incite more wrath.

"He was quite upset when Pumpkin made those remarks," Mameha fluttered her hands gracefully to show her consternation. We were sitting in her apartment, during the early hours of the morning,the only free time that we shared."Nobu is a possessive man, Sayuri. While the Baron appreciates that many men admire me and covet me, Nobu does not like it when others take note of his possessions."

"I am but a geisha, Mameha, hardly a thing to be had."

"To many men that is a prize and thus a possession," she said. She cast her eyes downward and then upward. "You are his possession, Sayuri. You are his. Do not ever think that you belong to just yourself anymore."

She sighed.

"Remember who and what we are at all times. We did not enter this life to be at leisure for ourselves."

"Indeed," I murmured. "And does Nobu know this? That I am not at leisure to be at the beck and call of just one man? Even if such a man understands that I am his?"

"He will, if he has to keep you," Mameha said wisely. "Or, you will learn to hide this fact from him."

"Tonight we entertaining a minor royalty from one of the Samurai Houses" I said. I wanted to change the subject. I felt a sort of hopelessness where Nobu was concerned. My job was entertaining people, and life had to go on, whether he forgave me or not.

"The Baron is not in town. If he were, no doubt he would be expected to go" Mameha mused.

"I had never dreamed of meeting a Baron, let alone someone from one of the Samurai Families" I said.

"Yes, we'll do not let it go to your head. They are like any other person. They like flattery and easy conversation."

"What are you wearing?"

Mameha smiled.

"Something to outshine Hatsumomo, if she were there," Mameha said mischievously. "And you, are you going to shine like a star the night you wore that stunning Kimono Nobu gifted you?"

"I have not thought of it, " I admitted. "I think to wear that robe without Nobu present would be in bad taste."

Mameha made a face.

"It was meant to be worn, Sayuri. It is a symbol of his generosity and his ability as a Danna to provide those things for you. You should wear it tonight."

"It is pretty," I said. "Alright. Thank you Mameha. I will see you tonight."

"Very well" Mameha, said, getting up and ushering to me the door. "Don't forget to look your best. You reflect not only your Okiya but Nobu. And take my word for it, Sayuri, Nobu is a man that you should reflect proudly and well. He is a good man, underneath his gruff exterior. He will forgive you in time."

"Yes," I said, bowing briefly.

…...

That night, I took extra care with my appearance. I bathed and put on my finest perfume , a western one from Paris. Earlier that day, I had made an appointment with the hairdresser to ensure that my hair was not wilted and damaged looking for tonight. My new up style was firm and fresh.

Looking over the collection of Kimonos we had in the Okiya, I knew none could rival the robe that Nobu had given me. I had Auntie sew my collar onto the under robe for the Kimono that Nobu gave me. She exclaimed over the beauty of the Kimono. When she heard that it was a gift from Nobu Toshikazu, she nodded her head.

"An excellent gift," she said. "A geisha could not have asked for a better Danna." She ran a finger over the embroidered hem. "Even Hatsumomo in her hey-day never received such a robe as this."

"He is a generous man," I said. Auntie nodded, her old face thoughtful.

"Be sure that you do not do anything that would endanger the generosity that he is giving you. That was Hatsumomo's problem. She chased away her Danna by her foolish demands and whims. Insolent girl."

"Yes, Auntie."

"You are a good girl, well on her way to becoming the best geisha in Gion," Auntie said, giving me a small pat on my shoulder. "With Toshikazu's patronage behind you, you will go far."

"Yes, Auntie." I took my Kimono from her hands and went to my room to get ready.

When Mr. Bekku dressed me, I stood before my mirror and gazed at the robe.

The color suited me uncommonly well. The color of the sea, a blue green grey color. I thought of the shore line I used to know so well in Yoroido. Shaky and unpredictable. The ocean was an appropriate euphemism for my relationship with Nobu.

Nobu had put much thought into this.

Opening up my jewelry case, I took out the red comb and the peach ring. I put the comb near the base of my bun. I slipped the ring onto my finger.

…...

The party was to be held at the Ichiriki. The Ichiriki was always an appropriate venue to host a more serious type of gathering.

I met Mameha in the hallway.

She was resplendent in a crimson robe with arched leaves and a blossom pattern. Her obi was a white with plum colored threads making a sort of swirling design. As usual, she was the picture of beautiful perfection. The deep red of the Kimono reminded me of blood. It was strangely sensual on Mameha, who always exhibited decorum and grace.

"You look lovely tonight, Mameha-san" I gushed. Mameha smiled.

"As do you. Come, I heard that one of the guests will do a short sword exhibition."

"Really?"

"Yes, he is the one of the people who the party is for. A noble from the Samurai House. His brother is Suzuki Hideo, an old friend of mine. Be sure to impress him, he has quite a reputation for Geisha."

We entered the room, bowing and making our greetings to the host. After we had circled the table, Mameha stopped in front of a man dressed in a black kimono.

We both bowed.

"Hideo-san, please allow me to introduce my younger sister, Nitta Sayuri."

"It is an honor to meet you," I said bowing again.

"I am honored that two of the most beautiful geisha are here tonight in my company," Hideo said pleasantly. "Sit. Pour me tea, Mameha-san. I have been aching to see your white arm in front of me for many months."

"Such flattery," Mameha teased back, reaching for the tea pot. She swept her sleeve out of the way and poured a cup for Hideo.

"One cannot help it, especially when they are in your presence Mameha," Hideo said. He drank from his cup.

"Where is the Baron?"

"In Tokyo," Mameha said.

"Ah, I see. I had expected to see him here tonight."

"It is most unfortunate," Mameha agreed.

"Hideo-san, are you going to do the sword exhibition?" I ventured.

He turned to me, and I could see that he was not an unattractive man. He appeared to be the same age as Nobu-san.

"Me? No, it will be up to young Atchiko over there. He is the one sitting next to the Geisha in the yellow Kimono. I am getting too old to be doing such things."

"Hideo-san, old? Never!" Mameha exclaimed.

"It's true, Mameha. I relinquish more and more of my duties to my younger brother Atchiko. Except for the meetings with the Emperor, I have very little to do anymore."

"You must come to Gion more often then," Mameha advised. "Sayuri and I are excellent sources of diversion."

Hideo smiled. "I have no doubt of that. Mameha, ask the maid for a beer and some sake. I am growing weary of tea."

"Certainly," Mameha said. She waved down the maid, who also brought over some bowls of pickles and snacks. Hideo studied me.

"Your eyes are especially pretty, Sayuri-san."

"Thank you, Hideo-san," I said.

"Mameha has her Baron, do you have a Danna, Sayuri-san?" I blushed.

"I do."

"Is he here tonight?" Hideo asked, looking around.

"I believe that he is working" I replied.

"Sayuri's Danna is the President of Iwamura Electric," Mameha supplied helpfully.

Hideo's face lit up.

"Your Danna is Nobu Toshikazu?" I nodded my assent. Hideo laughed and rubbed his hands together.

"I thought he did not like Geisha? Well, well! This is a surprise."

"I am quite honored that Nobu-san has chosen to become my Danna," I said.

"No doubt of it. Nobu-san is a fine man. Very successful I hear. Even if it weren't for his successful business ventures, women have been after him for years."

Mameha did not hide her confusion.

"I have known Nobu Toshikazu for many years. Undoubtedly he is a fine man, but I did not realize he was in demand."

"Oh yes," Hideo said, reaching for his glass, "You see, he does not like to talk about it, but his mother is a niece to the Emperor."

Mameha and I looked at each other in surprise.

"I had no idea," Mameha breathed.

"Like I said, he does not like to talk about it," Hideo shrugged. "Whenever I see him, he is crass and surly as ever. Titles do not matter to him, nor royal connections. Once women learn of these things, they become impossible to shake, so Nobu has become deathly silent about his family."

"It is like him," I said. "Nobu is quite modest."

"He is an intriguing man" Hideo said. "Everything he does is noteworthy and exceptional. Even the offer he turned down from Tanaka Corporations..."

"What?" Mameha and I both said.

"Yes," Hideo said, clearly enjoying telling us something that we did not know. "It made front lines in the business papers. You geisha, all you ever read is Kabuki magazines!"

"I had no idea, did you Sayuri?" Mameha asked me. I shook my head.

"Some say he was foolish for turning down a ten million dollar contract," Hideo smiled leisurely, "But if I know Nobu, no doubt he has a secret business motive. No doubt he is waiting to drive up the asking price."

"So much money," Mameha murmured, turning to look at me.

"Do not worry. Nobu Toshikazu has had a head for business since he was walking. He will get them to double the price."

I could only nod.


	13. Chapter 13

Aww thank you guys. I am quitting my dog walking job. Can't hack it. I love my customers but hate the cheapos that pay a measly six dollars a visit. Now I applied to become a Nanny...going to start Law School in the Fall. Just need to make it until then. I wish I could become a geisha!

Mameha and I continued to chat with Hideo-san for much of the night. He was a witty and pleasant conversationalist. He took away much of the effort that I normally would have put forth. Mameha and I also enjoyed the sword exhibition that his younger brother put on. Afterwards everyone clapped and enjoyed more sake and beer.

Mameha was an eye catcher in her red kimono. Not only did she command Hideo-san's attention, but she captured the eyes of several other business men. The other geisha watched with pleasant company expressions as their customers and patrons gravitated towards our table and left with Mameha and mines business cards.

At last when we said goodbye, it was with a mixture of relief and regret on the part of the geisha and guests. Hideo-san invited Mameha-san and myself to accompany him to a Sumo match the following week. Once again, I felt fortunate to be Mameha's younger sister. Her popularity and extensive networking with noteworthy clients continued to boost my career.

When we were out on the street, at last Mameha turned towards me and exclaimed, "Sayuri! Do you know what this means?"

"I'm sorry?" I said, very confused.

"With Nobu-san!" she said exasperatedly.

"You mean the discontinuing of his business deal with Tanaka?"

"Yes! I thought I would never live to see the day."

"Mameha-san, please explain what you mean!" Mameha sighed.

"When is your next engagement?" she asked practically.

"In twenty minuets. There is a banquet that I must attend."

"Alright, come over here and I will explain." Mameha led the way to a small bench by an alcove of trees that was meant to resemble a small park. Nearby were small food vendors and a store that sold paper.

We sat down.

"Please, Mameha-san. Explain what is going on!"I begged her.

Mameha looked at me with a sort of pitying expression.

"Nobu-san is the consummate business man," she said, toying with her drawstring bag that held her fan and make-up. "Ever since I had been an apprentice maiko, I have read and heard about his success."

"Yes, go on" I prompted her. Mameha sighed again.

"Men like Nobu-san think of very little except being successful at what they do. That is why I was surprised when he showed an interest in you. I thought it was only a passing fancy." She gave me a look and I understood what she meant. She meant that she had thought he was only interested in a physical relationship.

"When he proposed himself as your Danna, I was shocked, but extremely pleased. Like I said before, Nobu does not like Geisha."

"Yes."

"But tonight when I heard that he had turned down Tanaka's offer...well..." Mameha's hands fluttered.

"I do not understand."

"Sayuri, Nobu Tashikazu has turned down a most promising business venture, over a woman. Over _you_."

"So I am to blame for this failure?" I asked in shock.

"I would not put it in those words exactly," Mameha said with a smile. "I suppose it's a flattery of sorts. Once everyone finds out about it, it's going to boost your popularity considerably."

"It can't be over me," I protested.

"Nobu has never to my knowledge, not taken up on offer that would better his company," Mameha said. "I may not know much about business, but over the years I have learned there is a pattern to Nobu's business behavior and he has never done this before. There was no reason to turn down Tanaka's offer. The Chairman said it was most promising."

"I see," I said, very much troubled.

Mameha saw my expression.

"Do not let it bother you, Sayuri. You must go on as before."

"Do you think Nobu will be angry with me for long?"

"Give it time. Clearly he intends to keep you Sayuri. Men like him do not let go of things easily."

"I do not know what to do with him," I told her.

"I told you it would be difficult, but it is not impossible," Mameha said, patting my arm briefly. "Remember Sayuri, with this life comes difficulties of all sorts. It will never be easy."

"Thank you, Mameha-san."

"Go to your engagement. I must attend a party for a new theater opening."

I rose from the bench and smoothed down my robes. I bowed to Mameha and thanked her for tonight.

At my next engagement, I faced another formal atmosphere. But there were several geisha there that I knew. Together we worked out a small dance performance. I played the shamisen instead of dancing.

When we were done, a geisha my age came up to me. She bowed. Her name was Ayeka. Her Okiya was close to mine. I had sometimes seen her in the company of Hatsumomo's friend Korin.

"Sayuri-san, everyone says that Nobu Tashikazu is your Danna, is this true?"

"Yes Ayeka-san."

"How fortunate you must be!" she exclaimed, eying my kimono and ring.

"He is a generous man," I answered.

She leaned forward towards, and whispered, "Does it bother you, his scars and one arm?" I recoiled back and looked at her.

"Not at all," I replied coldly. "Nobu Tashikazu is one of the most successful men that I know."

"Is that so?" she said. There was a subtle gleam of malice in her eyes. Many people said that Gion was the world of silken flowers and butterflies, but people often did not know and understand that even butterflies can bite.

"It must be true," she said, pausing for a moment, "Since a geisha like Hatsumom has been seen in his company two nights ago."

I said nothing. Mameha had schooled me that silence is the best thing when you do not want to give your enemy the upper hand.

"Her younger sister, Pumpkin too," Ayeka continued, "has been seen with him at a banquet. I thought it was funny, since I heard he was your Danna."

I smiled."Poor Hatsumomo. She is in much need of generosity. It is a pity that she is getting older. Still, I imagine, she sees a good thing and must chase after it with agility." I rose. I had been at the banquet for an hour and it was time to go.

"This world of ours is not kind to old women," I said, bowing goodnight. Ayeka frowned.

"I hope you can keep your generous Danna, Sayuri-san."

"Goodnight, Ayeka-san."


	14. Chapter 14

* You guys are so sweet! I did a dramatic quitting. Came in and threw down my dog walking schedule and binder and said "I quit!" The owners weren't there, just the nerdy looking guy at the front desk who gives me sympathetic looks each time I come in. He said "Okay?" I think I scared him.

At the end of the long night, I went back to my Okiya. The maid was waiting up for me. I asked her for some tea and crackers to be sent up to my room. The girl scurried off to the kitchen.

I listened carefully to the sounds of the house before I went up to my room. I thought I could hear the sound of Hatsumomo's snoring. It gave me a slightly better feeling to know that my engagements kept me out longer than her and Pumpkin.

When the maid came with my tea, she helped me out of my kimono. After taking off my make-up,I slipped into a sleeping robe and laid down onto my futon. She carefully folded up the kimono and left the room. The tea was steaming on the table but I ignored it, along with the plate of crackers. I was too keyed up to eat. Instead I focused on the tiredness of my limbs.

Mameha was right when she said it was a flattery of sorts that Nobu would turn away money over me. It gave me a funny feeling thinking that he had done such a thing.

Gruff, cold, hard, Nobu Tashikazu had turned down a most profitable business deal over a woman.

I thought back to the skinny, naked little girl that I had been in Yoroido. Tanaka had been right when he said that I was not the most beautiful woman in Gion. I did not believe myself to be so. And yet, through my association with Nobu-san, I felt as though I was the most desirable woman in the world.

Despite the unpleasant meeting with Ayeka, I felt elated remembering Hideo's words about Nobu turning down Tanaka's offer. Even though Nobu had shunned my company after the incident at his country estate, I felt somehow vindicated. Mameha was right. He still wanted me.

I smiled against my hand and then fell asleep.

…...

The next morning, a currier came with a message from Hideo's assistant and a small bouquet of flowers. I was pleasantly surprised that he had thought of me. The message was a polite reminder of next week's sumo match. It was in no way a romantic gesture. I imagined that Mameha was receiving a similar note that morning.

After looking over my engagements for the day, I realized that today was the day of Iwamura's company banquet. Like the night before, I took special care in selecting my Kimono. I decided on a deep purple with a dragon design. My obi was a bright red with a peony pattern. I slipped a scented cedar fan into my purse, along with my lipstick and a mirror.

When I reached the Ichiriki, I realized that I was early. The thought of seeing Nobu had made me apprehensive of being late. I planned on spending the extra time sitting in the maid's room .As I was taking of my shoes in the hallway, I looked up and almost stumbled over the Chairman.

"Chairman! My goodness!" I exclaimed, doing my best not to stumble over him.

"Excuse, me, Sayuri-san" he said, offering me his hand to steady me.

"I didn't realize I was early," I offered, embarrassed to be seen here so early. I let go of his hand quickly.

"I came here early to find some time to rest," the Chairman said, smiling. "I often find these things tedious and tiresome. Of course not when you and Mameha-san are here."

"Of course!"

I bowed to him, and we looked at each, each not knowing what to say or to do.

"Would the Chairman like for me to find the maid? I'm sure you must be thirsty."

"No, no, I am quite fine."

"Please let me escort you to the banquet room Chairman," I said, bowing again. He motioned for me to lead the way.

After asking a maid, I found the assigned room. I opened the door for the Chairman and ushered him in.

"Are you sure you do not want anything to drink, Chairman? I assure you it is no trouble."

"No, no, Sayuri. Please sit. I am sure you have been busy all day rushing to engagements."

"Such is the life of a geisha," I said pleasantly, taking a seat across from him.

"So tell me, have you spoken to Nobu, Sayuri?"

"I have not. My Danna is a busy man." The Chairman nodded.

"Too busy for his own good," the Chairman said. My eyebrows rose.

"I have sometimes tried to caution Nobu-san to rest but he is...stubborn. I have never known a more hard working man."

"Nobu-san is quite devoted" the Chairman said.

"Yes."

"Sayuri-san, I hope you know that Nobu-san is sometimes hard to understand..."

"Yes?"

"Underneath, he is like any other man."

I looked at the Chairman openly. With my eyes, I quickly traced the lines of his face and remembered how I had found all the features in his good humored face so attractive. His eyes spoke openly of kindness, and indeed he was a kind man. I would never forget the time he comforted me when I was a child by the Shirakawa stream. Even then, as an inexperienced child, I could see the open generosity and kindness in his eyes.

Nobu's face was a disfigured land of scars and angry burns. It took me years to discover Nobu's inherent goodness, but once found, I knew that it surpassed most people's ordinary goodness.

"I find Nobu-san to be exceptional in many ways, " I said, recalling the many times times he had exclaimed that he was not like any other man. "Forgive me Chairman, but I do not understand why you have persisted in telling me this."

"I have known you for quite some time, Sayuri-san," the Chairman said. " But I have known Nobu even longer. Our company is doing extremely well in these troubling times. I do not know how much you know of the approaching war..." he paused and gave me a look. I nodded.

"It is stressful for our company. As you know, we had a pending deal with Tanaka Corporations, but it fell through...for personal reasons."

I kept my face stoic and expressionless.

"I am not blaming you, Sayuri, but I believe it was because of you that swayed Nobu's decision to reject Tanaka's offer."

"I assure you Chairman, I have no influence on what Nobu-san does in his professional dealings. I am but a geisha."

"A geisha that Nobu Toshikazu is enamored with," the Chairman said with a small smile.

"I do not speak for Nobu-san's feelings," I said firmly.

"His actions towards you speak for him," the Chairman said. "Once again Sayuri I am not blaming you. I know too well what it is like to be enchanted by someone as beautiful as you."

"Please, Chairman, I am unworthy of such praises" I said, my voice recalling Mameha's easy flirting tone. The playfulness of my reply worked and our conversation returned to the easy banter of the weather and small harmless gossip that was occurring in Gion.  
I kept the Chairman entertained for nearly half an hour before the other Geisha arrived and then the guests. Another geisha took my place beside the Chairman and I was free to walk the room.

I kept glancing around, searching for Nobu. I circled the room twice before at last I found him.

As our eyes met, I had the same feeling that I was the only thing in the room that he was aware of. It was as if I was a fire that he could only see.

His eyes burned into me.

I walked towards him.

"Nobu-san," I murmured. He motioned for me to pour him sake.

"You look well, Nobu-san," I said. He made a grunting sound and drank his sake.

"The other night, " I began, "I ran into a geisha who said that you were with Pumpkin and her older sister, Hatsumomo."

"Jealous?" he sneered.

"And what if I am?" I asked him calmly. Nobu looked at me.

"It would serve you right," he said. His eyes looked me over, taking in my kimono and obi and then finally the red comb that had become a permanent fixture in my hair.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked.

"I do," he said, his dark gaze trained on my face. I blushed.

"Why must you be so cruel to me?" I asked him in a pleasant tone, conscious of the guests around us.

"Because you have been cruel to me first!" Nobu growled. "You have been unfair to me first, Sayuri! With that fool Tanaka."

"You do not know what happened," I told him in a low whisper.

"I do not have to know," he snarled, "Like a dog, he came to a board meeting and bragged of kissing you!"

"I did not welcome his advances," I told him. Nobu's nostrils flared. He studied his drink angrily.

"I am a different man since becoming your Danna," he said. " I have done and said things I have never done before." I said nothing.

"But I have not changed in one respect and that is that I do not stand idle while others try to take what is rightfully mine."

"Nothing was taken" I said softly. I looked at Nobu and made him meet my eyes. "Nothing was taken," I repeated."Please do not be cruel to me any longer, Nobu-san. I cannot bear it."

"Do not toy with me, Sayuri-san," he warned, his expression still dark.

"I would never do that," I told him. 


	15. Chapter 15

*Beginning to have writer's block. Oh no!

I stayed by Nobu's side for the rest of the party. My behavior was unusual. It was my duty to mingle with all the guests, and not just the hosts of the party, even though one of them was my Danna.

For once, I neglected the rules of my trade. I decided that Nobu had betrayed his business character for me and he deserved this, a night of my complete attention.

Our conversation did not flow easily. Nobu still continued to have a darkened expression for much of the night, but he ceased throwing cruel accusations at me. Once or twice my eyes traveled to where the Chairman was sitting and my attention slipped slightly as I pondered his earlier words. I did not have the time to think on this deeply now but I promised myself that later I would try to understand why he was so concerned about Nobu's ultimate decision to reject Tanaka's business offer.

I understood his business motives for being concerned about Nobu's behavior, but Nobu had been his partner for years and the Chairman had often expressed his stalwart trust in him and his business savvy. It was unlikely that the Chairman's trust in Nobu's business dealings was beginning to falter now.

When I had the time, I would think on it, but now I did not. I knew that I must do all I could to salvage my break with Nobu and make this night go by easy.

As I searched for things to lighten Nobu's mood, I recalled my meeting with Hideo Suzuki. I casually mentioned him to Nobu, thinking that this was something that would interest him. Nobu immediately stiffened.

"Hideo Suzuki? That great big fool?" he sneered. "What was Mameha thinking?"

"She said that he was an old friend of hers," I said in a calm voice.

Nobu scoffed and drank his scotch. I poured him another glass.

"Those men from those families are all the same!" he spat, "They are just like the Baron. So committed to living in the past! Antiquated old fools."

"Our nation is still headed by an Emperor," I said reasonably, "Nobu-san should not talk this way. It goes against tradition."

"Times are changing, Sayuri. The sooner those so called "aristocratic" fools realize it, the better. I have no qualms against the Emperor, but he is not the actual head of the government. The military is."

I looked at him.

"I sometimes forget how young and impressionable you are, Sayuri-san!"

Nobu took another long drink and set his glass down."The Samurai families are nearly extinct. The Emperor sits on a council and decides the fate of our country with the advice of Army Generals. And believe me, they are often no better than the Aristocratic fools they replaced."

"You were in the Army" I pointed out. Nobu frowned.

"I was. But those were different times. Men like Hideo Suzuki serve no purpose. They are next to useless, just as many of the Army Generals are. Useless!" Nobu said the last word with such force that I flinched.

"He spoke well of you," I told Nobu. Nobu turned his head away and muttered something. It might have been curse words. I gathered my courage and said " He also said that Nobu-san was related to the Emperor. I had no idea! Mameha and I were quite surprised."

"Those things do not matter to me. It is through my mother that I am related to the Emperor, but she is long since dead and my father's families have no such aspirations or social inclinations. I grew up with the understanding that a man's worth was determined by his successes and failures and not by the titles his family carries."

"I see," I said, folding my hands demurely in my lap. "Forgive me, Nobu-san, but you forget that I earn my livelihood living in a world of tradition. Being a geisha is all about adhering to the laws of tradition."

"That is your use, I suppose it serves a purpose of a kind, but mark my words, men like Suzuki Hideo are a dying breed. They do nothing except become ornaments of the past."

"He seemed a kindly man," I offered. "I'm sure he is a fine ornament." Nobu snorted.

"Tell Mameha to keep you away from them. It does a person no good being next to uselessness."

I smiled coyly. "I am glad that Nobu-san has no such fear being around me."

"You are useful being beautiful," Nobu muttered. He reached for his Scotch and drank deeply. I felt a warmth spread throughout my face even though I was not the one drinking. Suddenly, I knew that I was forgiven.

"When I look at you" Nobu said, continuing his thought, "I feel as though all the beauty that was ever denied to me has come back to me twice fold."

"I am not that beautiful Nobu-san," I said, now earnestly blushing. My white make-up hid my red cheeks. Nobu ignored me as he studied his glass. He turned it this way and that way in his one hand. The light from above made it glint and sparkle.

He sighed.

"When I look at you, all is right with the world and beauty comes easily. Naturally. Like it was always there to begin with. Like it was always there all along, and this is comforting to me. With my one hand, I can touch you. And...when I am with you, I feel at peace." He turned his gaze from his glass and sought my eyes.

Nobu's eyes burned into mine.

"I do not know what I would do if I lost this feeling," he told me.


	16. Chapter 16

For several weeks, Nobu-san and I lived in a sort of half-way world. We continued to treat each other as before. Perhaps Nobu was a little more forgiving in his speech towards me. Perhaps I was a tad more polite.

Several times I had caught him watching me out of the corner of his eyes. His gifts, as usual were lavish and important. On the Lunar New Year he had presented me with a sapphire kimono broach in the shape of a delicate butterfly.

I had combed the stores of Kyoto searching for an equally valuable gift for Nobu, but I could think of nothing that he did not already have. Finally I settled on some men's cologne. Selfishly, I had picked out something that I would enjoy smelling. It was a lemon scent with a hint of lavender. I bought it immediately but then later worried that the lavender would make it seem too feminine.

When I presented it to him, I murmured my gratitude for his generosity and that I hoped this scent would not offend him as I had little experience in picking men's cologne.

I remember he took the bottle and thanked me politely. He did not smell it but put it away in his bag. I never saw it again, but the next time I saw him, I smelled a lemony scent and knew that he had used it. Whenever I chanced to see him, I continued to note it's presence.

It was unusual, but what else could be expected?

He had shown me what he had shown no other woman.

I would not call it love per se. I had nothing to compare it by. My feelings for the Chairman were an obsession. A laughable fantasy constructed by a child. I was not sure if they were love. I was not even sure they were real

Now it seemed that the tables of fate had turned and I had obsession of another kind on my hands. Only this time it was coming from Nobu..

I sat at the Okiya dinning table with these thoughts drumming through my head. In front of me was a bowl half filled with rice. Mother had ordered the cook to buy a chicken. There was also a bowl of clear chicken brother and plate of chicken next to the bowl. More and more Mother had been buying meat and fowl, saying with the war coming it might be years before we could taste these things again. My income and Nobu's generous upkeep had made this possible.

The War was a growing concern in everyone's mind, even in Gion. I found the tea house regulars being replaced with Generals and newly trained soldiers. Once, a decree from the Emperor had come to Gion, requesting that twelve geisha go to Tokyo to entertain a group of soldiers known as the Kamikaze.

Mother wouldn't hear of me going at the time because I was entertaining a whole slew businessmen men and Mother claimed that they gave better tips and gifts than the nobility.

So I continued to entertain at a fast rate, thinking of Nobu and the impending storm cloud that seemed to hovering all over Japan. As of yet, we had not noticed any shortages in Gion, but Mother was convinced it was to be only a matter of time.

I wondered to myself how Nobu's patronage was going to fare.

As I picked up my chopsticks, Pumpkin stumbled in the room.

Her hair was in disarray and she appeared to be quite drunk.

"Sayuri-san" she mumbled, giving me a half smile. I set down my bowl as waves of alcohol invaded my breathing space. I held up my sleeve.

"Goodness Pumpkin, what wine vat has Hatsumomo dumped you in!"

"We were entertaining the General Tatori until dawn!" Pumpkin said, reaching for my bowl of rice and grabbing the plate of chicken. She ate hungrily for several moments.

I took a cup of tea and watched her. She seemed to want to say something. Her mouth moved meaningfully as she chewed the chicken and then drank down the broth..

She was the kind of drunk that demanded conversation. Her eyes were clearly focused on me even if her body wavered slightly in her place.

"You know I despise you, Sayuri-san, I really do!"

I said nothing but continued to sip my tea. You may wonder at reticence but secretly I was wondering if Pumpkin was going to divulge any secrets of Hatsumomo's in her drunken stupor

Pumpkin took a deep gulping breath and pushed the bowl of broth away from her. She seemed angry at my calm.

"You think you are so perfect! Sitting there as the daughter of the Okiya! You think you are untouchable with your precious older sister and your wealthy Donna. But I know better...in fact all of Gion will know too!"

"And what is it that they will know?"

Pumpkin smiled and I felt my bones ache. The smile was hauntingly reminiscent of Hatsumomo's.

"They will know that your Donna prefers another."

I shrugged.

"No, no Sayuri. It's true." Here Pumpkin giggled.

"She is carrying the child of your one armed Donna! At last Hatsumomo will have something of yours. And so will I!"

I threw my cup on the floor and the tea spilled staining the mats.

"You lie!" I said, breathing hard.

"It's the absolute truth. Hatsumomo is going to talk to Mother. She needs her to petition Tashikazu's for funds."

"It never happened!" I insisted. "Nobu-san wouldn't even glance at you if you ran into you on the street. You are nothing to him!"

"Perhaps," Pumpkin admitted, still smiling her twisted smile, "But everyone knows how beautiful Hatsumomo is, even if she is older than you. Your Donna is like any other man when he is drunk. I heard he whispered your name as he..."

I rose up and struck Pumpkin. My nails drew a thin line of blood on her cheek. She screeched.

Immediately Auntie came into the room.

"What is going on?"

Pumpkin took a few halting steps in her Kimono and then fell to the floor retching. I pushed past Auntie who had tried to lift Pumpkin but failed.

My heart pounding in my chest, I made my way up to Mother's room where I knew Hatsumomo would be waiting.


	17. Chapter 17

Hatsumomo's face was a mixture of triumph and malice. When I opened the door to Mother's room, she sent her beautiful red smile towards me. Inwardly, I shook to my very core, but I steadied myself as I prepared to ask Mother the questions I so desperately needed to ask.

"Mother, Pumpkin has told me some very strange things downstairs."

Mother started to speak but then looked at Hatsumomo, who sat there gloating, wearing an expression of absolute contentment.

"Come in, Sayuri" Mother commanded. "This concerns you. Close the door, I don't want the maids hearing."

I slid the door closed.

"Little Chiyo, if you had wanted to know the truth about your Danna, you needn't have asked Pumpkin. I would have told you!" Hatsumomo gushed. Mother rolled her eyes and tapped her pipe to clear the ashes.

Remembering that I was the daughter of the Okiya and not Hatsumomo, I took my seat next to Mother.

"Whatever Pumpkin may have told you downstairs, drunk or not," Mother said, lighting her pipe and settling her gaze on me, "Believe it. Tashkent's solicitor has been to see and has answered my inquiries into the situation."

"He has agreed to a settlement!" Hatsumomo said gleefully. Mother glared at her.

"What you have done is absolutely disgraceful! If he had not agreed to a settlement you would be walking away from this Okiya and into the gutter. A pregnant Geisha can't entertain and earn her keep." Mother looked steadily at Hatsumomo as if to prove her point. Hatsumomo didn't even flinch. She was absolutely brazen in her success.

"Okassan, you and I both know that now you won't let that happen. So what is the use in bringing up this dreary talk of what could have been? All that matters is what is happening now, isn't that so Sayuri-san?"

"Mother..."I began, but she stopped me.

"I am sorry this has happened, Sayuri-san, but everything must go on as before. Nobu's patrongage is too valuable to lose."

"Yes, Sayuri-san, everything will go on as before. Perhaps one day the Okiya can adopt my child and it can be your successor!" Hatsumomo said.

"That will never happen" I told her.

"We will see won't we, little Chiyo?" Hatsumomo rose gracefully and went to the door and slid it open. In her figure I could see nothing that indicated that she was with child.

When she was gone, I faced Mother and watched her as she re-packed her wretched pipe.

"Will she keep it?"

"Who knows? Hatsumomo will not like the things that pregnancy can do to your figure. Nobu Tashikazu has seen to it that she has enough money to do whatever she wants, either way. No doubt she will give it out for fostering elsewhere. I told her that it would not be welcome at the Okiya, especially if it was a boy."

"Do you think he wants it?"

Mother laughed."Don't be so naïve Sayuri-san, or so foolish. You are a very smart girl except in one respect and that is your sentimentality. Remember it does not pay to get too attached to anything or anyone in this life. Obviously Nobu still wants you. He is your Danna. This little situation will resolve itself one way or another. Having a bastard child from a geisha won't matter to Nobu"

My face must have betrayed my inner turmoil because Mother softened her tone a little and said," You will still be pretty when Hatsumomo retires. Do you think having a baby will endear her to her customers? At the moment I find her pay is slipping, she will be gone from this Okiya and out of our lives for good."

"Yes Mother" I mumbled.

"You are the daughter of the Okiya. Be thankful that you have the best of both worlds."

"Mother why did Nobu agree to a settlement. If you say he does not care why do it?"

"I forget sometimes that you are not from Kyoto and have yet to understand how this world works. Nobu Tashikazu has been a patron of Gion for many years. Our Okiya, although not the most prestigious, is not without status. How would it look if Nobu had disrespected us and not paid a penny? Its would be absolutely crass!"

I nodded politely and then smoothed down my robes and rose and went to the door. Hatsumomo's perfume wafted in the air..

I did not have any engagements until tonight. I thought about going to Mameha's apartment but I did not know what to say. I told Mother I was going to be resting for the rest of the day.

She shooed me out of her room.


	18. Chapter 18

*In a horrible mood. I apologize to my faithful reviewers. I will be getting in touch with you to thank you for your reviews! I am in the middle of the biggest decision of my life. Going to Law School in Maine or New Mexico...any thoughts?

I choose to wear a kimono the color of green apples that night. I imagined the color matched my mood. I once heard of the Western saying, being green with jealousy.

For I was jealous. Everything I had worked hard for, everything I had sacrificed, only to have it taken away by Hatsumomo. Truth be told, Nobu was still my Danna and I was still the daughter of the Okiya. I agreed with Mother that I doubted he had plans to put me aside and take Hatsumomo as his Mistress. The matter of this impending child infuriated me beyond belief. Geisha do not have children. Unless they are the daughters of the Okiya or plan on then, it was preferable to adopt outside the okia so as not to interupt the earnings of the main geisha.

I wondered what Hatsumomo would do with the child when it was born. Would she keep it? How long would she carry the burden of the expense? What had Nobu agreed to?

I had promised Mother that I would not break my arrangement with Nobu. He was too valuable to lose. With the War coming, the future had never seemed so uncertain. The rice in our bowls, my make-up, the pay of the cook and my dresser and various fees, all were heavily dependent on Nobu's generous upkeep. Mother had been able to put away money and goods because of this. Nobu was our chance to survive the long winter ahead.

Wearing a heavy orange scented perfume, I walked into the banquet with my head held high.I knew that despite my sadness, I was attractive that evenining. The green of my kimono had darkened my eyes to a dull slate color that seemed black in the low lighting of the tea house.

Hatsumomo and Pumpkin, thankfully weren't there to futher darken my mood. Mameha had promised to show up later that evening.

I did my job perfunctorily. I chatted and laughed with customers. I poured sake and beer. When pressed to perform, I abandoned my usual post at the shamisen and rose to dance. I asked the geisha accompanying me to perform a song about the snow falling for the first time in winter.

Moving my sleeves, I conveyed the death of a snow flake and then a rebirth in the sudden onslaught of a the end, I sank slowly to my knees, reacting the inevitable death of winter as spring came. For spring always comes. I put my fan over my face to signal the end of my life.

It was both fierce and sad. The death of a snowflake,greatly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things mirrored my existance in Gion. It was very poetic.

The audience was clapped enthusiastically. I suppose my emotion had transferred positively in my dancing. I folded my fan closely to my body. I murmured my thanks.

AsI was taking my seat, a man's voice called my name.

"Sayuri-san, what a pleasant surprise."

"Chairman!" I turned my body towards him and bowed. "I did not know that you were going to be at this party! What a pleasant surprise!"

The Chairman had his hands folded around his sake glass. I remembered how months ago, that gesture would have thrilled me.

Inside me everything was still. Like a fallen a snowflake.

He gestured politely for me to sit by him. I folded my sleeves and sat. I asked him if he required a fresher drink. He shook his head.

"You are very beautiful when you dance, Sayuri-san."

"I am not beautiful all the time then Chairman?" I quipped teasingly. He shook his head and smiled.

"You know what I mean. You are a born dancer, is something about the way you convey feelings and emotion."

"I am a performer" I told him. "I am not sure I was born a dancer, but I became one. Just as you, Chairman, were not born a Chairman but became one through many years of hard work and devotion."

The Chairman shook his head wistfully. "I owe all my success to Nobu-san" he said. "Without him this company would not be what it is and I would not be the man sitting here before you." I nodded my head.

"Many people owe their success to my Danna." The Chairman looked at me in surprise, aware of the tinge of anger in my words.

"Indeed. I believe that Nobu-san will be here tonight. I spoke to him a few hours before I left the office. He was busy handling some affairs with the War Office. They have started to pressure our company to meet their demands in manufacturing bombs and airplane equipment!"

"Can Iwamura Electric do that?"

"We will see what Nobu promises them. Perhaps circuit breakers, but certaintly not complete airplanes! You might as well ask us to lay golden eggs." I laughed.

"Chairman, you are entertaining me tonight! It should be the other way around!" I scolded. I gestured towards the snacks that were laid out onto the table. He took a sesami cracker.

"It is no trouble. Truth be told, I am glad to make you laugh...Sayuri-san..." The Chairman said my name like he wanted to tell me something of importance. I looked at him waiting.

Suddenly Nobu was ushered into the room by a geisha. I rose and bowed to my Danna.

"Good evening Nobu-san." I smiled and bowed. Nobu nodded at me and quickly seated himself beside the Chairman.

Without further acknowledging me, the two began a low conversation. The Chairman looked troubled. I remained in my seat, politely waiting.

I heard the Chairman give a low sigh and then he turned to me and apoligized. He told me he had another engagement to attend.

"I wish you had been here earlier, Nobu-san. Sayuri gave a most impressive and beautiful dance."

"Sayuri is a most accomplished dancer" Nobu said. I gave him a small smile.

"Please excuse me. Sayuri-san. Nobu-san." He bowed to us and begin to make his way to the door. I would have helped him with his shoes but Nobu gestured for me to stay.

"You look well tonight, Sayuri."

"I am glad you find me so" I told him. Nobu looked at me questioningly.

"Are you feeling well? You look flushed."

"I am quite well" I told him. I took out my fan from my obi and fanned my face, trying to think of polite things to say.

"Is something the matter?" Nobu asked quietly, his eyes searching my face.

"Is there?" I questioned. My mind screamed at me to be quiet and not bring on the impending arugement. I recalled Mother's words. The rice in our bowls, the silk kimonos, the precious make-up.

Nobu-san was too valuable to lose, and yet the water in me pressed me onwards.

Now it seemed I would find out my value. Was _I _too valuable to lose?

"It seems that there has been a current of change in our agreement"I said, picking my words carefully. I was using the veiled language of a geisha, something that Nobu-san despised.

"What are you talking about?"

"There is a saying that one cannot be satisfied with picking just one flower. To find complete complete satisfaction and beauty, a man must pick at least three flowers to make a boquet."

"I do not understand you, Sayuri. Is this what Mameha teaches you? To speak in riddles?"

"It is you I do not understand!" I snapped. "I thought...never mind...forgive me. I must go." I rose from the table and made my way to the hostess. I bowed to her and thanked her for inviting me.

Nobu-san did not call my name, but I could sensed his presence behind me.


	19. Chapter 19

*Okay so I am back. After I acquired a new lap top, moved to a different state, and then moved back. I love Chicago, and now I have a cold. But your reviews have meant so much to me. Sorry I have not been able to answer each one of them individually, but I have been sooo busy and now I have a cold.

Mameha had once said that Nobu and I had an "en". I suppose that meant we had an unbreakable connection, an enduring relationship. I found that it served to tell me when he was near. I could sense his presence in a crowded room. I guessed he felt the same. Or at least I thought he did. It did not allow me though, to understand his feelings or gauge his reactions. That alone could only be done through experience.

I had realized that he had followed me outside the tea house. Although I wished that there would be no further discussion, it was not to be.

I glanced quickly around the street, trying to figure quickly where I could go to avoid Nobu-san without being overly conspicuous. I only saw closed shops and empty restaurants. There was no escape. I would have to face him.

"Sayuri!"

"Nobu-san." I gave a little bow.

"What in the world is the matter with you?" Nobu scowled angrily at me. I hurried to put on a blank face.

"I have no idea what Nobu-san is referring to."

"What was all that about in there? Have your tea ceremony fumes gone to your head? What is all this foolishness about? In a public place no less."

"Forgive me, Nobu-san. I have not been feeling well today. Forgive me for speaking out of turn." I turned my head away from him and looked towards the street.

"You said you were feeling fine earlier!" Nobu snapped.

I looked at the ground, suddenly ashamed of the way I had handled my outburst. It was not in any way suave or graceful. I had not gotten my point across, and it seemed beside that point that I would ever get that chance. Nobody cared about such things except me.

Suddenly I wanted to cry.

I brought my long sleeve to my face. I tried to wipe away some of the moisture that was gathering near the edge of my eyes.

At times like these, any soft words or gestures would have brought on an onslaught of tears. Like the day I had first encountered the Chairman, a kind gesture would have laid me open for all to see. I would have been vulnerable.

Nobu was not a man for soft gestures or kind words. At once I was grateful and resentful of this.

He said nothing. He offered nothing. Cars and rickshaws passed us by. We stood in silence for a few moments. Finally, a man who appeared to be Nobu's driver came up to him. Nobu told the man to get the car.

I waited with my face still turned towards the street, unsure of what to do. It would be rude to leave without first seeing Nobu-san off.

The man came to the curb with the car. Nobu got in and motioned for me to follow. I hesitated.

"Get in, Sayuri."

I got in, carefully folding my sleeves and once again turning my face away from Nobu, looking out of the window and at the street.

Nobu told the driver where to go.

We went out of the geisha districts and into the business sector. I guessed that we were going to Nobu's office.

"Where are we going?'

"Does it matter?" Nobu asked. "It's not as if I am dragging your dead body off to be buried somewhere. Stop looking so morose."

"Forgive me" I offered tartly, still refusing to look at him. Nobu sighed.

"What is this about, Sayuri-san? I am tired and I do not have the patience for geisha foolishness today."

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Nobu became impatient.

"Well? I don't have time for this foolishness. I won't tolerate this type of behavior from you."

"I am sorry" I murmured, not meaning what I said. "What type of behavior should I exhibit?"

"The right kind" Nobu snapped.

"What does that mean to you?" I boldly shot back, incensed. Nobu pursed his mouth and didn't answer. It seemed that he finally recognized the meaning or direction of my anger.

My obi dug into my back. There was no way to sit comfortably in the car as it moved over the rickety streets. As we went further and further away from the geisha district, we begin to pass factories and lots.

My eyes strained to see anything in the sparsely lit area.

"We are going to your office?" I asked. Nobu said nothing but his body radiated angry silence.

At last we came to an empty lot. Nobu motioned the driver to park the car. Without waiting for the driver to open the door, Nobu yanked the door open and stepped out. Without warning, he grabbed my arm and almost hauled me out.

My kimono hem almost caused me to trip. Nobu steadied me with his one strong arm and then led me forcibly forward. I looked back at the driver and wondered at the state of Nobu's mind. Before today, one thing that I was absolutely sure of was that Nobu would never do anything to intentionally harm me. Suddenly I was reminded of the Western romance novels that the other geisha's had giggled and laughed at. There always seemed to be some detective who was saving a girl from being killed by a savage killer.

The attempted murder was always staged at night.

We traveled the empty lot to the entrance of a building. There was a small white sign with the kanji symbols for Iwamura. Nobu fumbled around in his pocket for a set of keys. He found one and unlocked the door.

Desk after desk was lined up side by side to create an aisle that led to who knew where. I imagined that rows of neatly dressed secretaries sat at these desks every morning, taking dictation and answering the phones in their over polite Kyoto accent. Nobu and I passed through this aisle until we reached a door that had a glass window. It required another search for keys.

Nobu unlocked it and stepped through. Hesitating, I followed him. Walking close behind, I noticed glints of grey in Nobu's hair as he switched on the blaringly bright office lights. I always knew that Nobu was not a young man, although he certainly worked with the vigor of a young man's energy. Once he became my Danna, he had boasted one evening that I had made him feel ten years younger. I was not sure of his exact age, although I did know him to be younger than the Chairman.

I wondered how old he was feeling now.

He went to a cabinet and opened one of its drawers and retrieved a bottle. He found an empty glass on the side of a desk that was placed in the middle of the room. He poured the dark liquid into the glass. From the sudden sharp smell, I knew it to be scotch.

Without offering me any Nobu picked up the glass and downed the contents quickly. He did not grimace. When he was done, he slammed the glass back down and turned towards me. Aside from the chair behind the desk, there was one other chair that stood before it.

"Sit" he ordered. I sat, carefully arranging my robes.

He took a deep breath, and I saw veins begin to pulse on his forehead.

"What is this about Sayuri?" When I didn't answer, he began to pace the room, glaring at me.

"What I should say I suppose is, what having you heard, Sayuri? Geisha are a talkative lot and I am sure you heard something in your Okiya or perhaps Mameha…."

"Mameha-san told me nothing" I said, folding my hands. "I heard it in my Okiya." I bit out the last words like they were a piece of bitter fruit. They tasted like metal in my mouth.

Nobu sighed angrily.

"What was it that you heard? I'm being in earnest Sayuri. I want to know what was said."

"I was told that Hatsumomo…" I paused, gathering the strength to go on "Was going to have your child."

Nobu stopped pacing and rolled his eyes upward in an annoyed fashion.

"I brought you here so that no one would interrupt or more importantly, overhear what I have to tell you. Do you understand?"

I nodded.

"That geisha…Hatsumomo is it? She is not having my child." My eyes teared up suddenly. I guessed the emotion was overwhelming relief. My shoulders sagged and Nobu came towards me quickly, guessing that I was about to become hysterical.

He gripped my shoulder in an almost painful way.

"I don't understand!" I got out, between heaving gasps.

"You don't have to!" he yelled, once again full of impatience.

"A woman living in my okiya has told me that my Danna acknowledged started a child with her and you tell me it's not true. I think…I think I deserve to know the truth behind the matter of this."

"Will you not be satisfied knowing it wasn't me?" Nobu asked.

"No"

"Fine. That geisha is carrying the Chairman's child." My head spun giddily. Nobu tightened his grip on my shoulder.

"The Chairman?" I gasped.

"No one can know. At this moment the Chairman is negotiating his daughter's marriage to the son of a business empire. He means to adopt that son and let his inheritance pass through him. He won't be able to do that if the family finds out that he is expecting an illegitimate child."

"So you offered yourself up to save the Chairman's face?" I asked bitterly.

"The geisha is the one who suggested it. I went along with it because I owe the Chairman."

"Nobu, there is no honor in covering up this man's mistakes."

"Sayuri-san…" Nobu's voice was full of warning.

"You traded my pride for his "I accused quietly.

"I traded nothing. We know the truth, what else matters?"

"You are going to pay for this?" I couldn't bring myself to say "child". Nobu nodded.

"You have to understand the position I am in. For the first time in my life I am in a situation where I am able to do this. To save another man's happiness." I looked up, intrigued.

"You have saved me Sayuri. Before this, I would have done this for the Chairman, but I would have reservations. I know this is not the best situation, but with you in my life, I can handle anything."

"If this is so, then why jeopardize our situation?"

"What is it that you want, Sayuri? I barely know this Hatsumomo. You have everything at your disposal now that I am your Danna. You need only to ask, and I will give you whatever it is you want."

"If I asked you, you won't give it to me."


	20. Chapter 20

*I plan on writing more very soon. Sorry guys. Law school has taken over my life. AHHH! Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I might have another chapter up again by tomorrow.

The war was here.

I knew that much for certain. As much as the turmoil that Hatsumomo and Nobu-san wrought in my world, I knew this event…the trouble that would eventually ruin the still of our little intrepid pond, was here at last

It started out small. Little luxuries were harder to get. Make-up and hair wax became dearer. Then it was soy sauce that was rationed and stored away. But the biggest thing that made me certain that war had indeed come upon us was when we were unable to get rice every day.

Nobu was not a government official. But he paid a fortune to Mother, who was able to get a few bags of it on the black market that had started to operate in Gion.

I entertained at a vast rate. I did this so I did not have time think of all things that Nobu could not give me. In my foolishness, I had imagined that he was unlike other men, that he alone could give me what my heart desired. I spent too many years away from the poverty of our fishing village. I realized that my mind was given to flights of fancy, not to important things like hunger and survival.

With my mind on more consequential things, like fish and rice for our stomachs, I managed to ignore Hatsumomo's growing belly. I found that the more I worked, the more I could avoid seeing Hatsumomo and her gloating smile. I smiled and poured tea and sake like I had never done before. At long last, I was devoted to my work.

Mameha was right. We are geishas because we have no choice. Work was my only escape from the reality that was now my life. Other geisha were wary around me, perhaps expecting that I would break down at the unfairness of my Donna openly acknowledging a liaison with my rival. Others were happy I think, to see me fall from grace. My career was too good to be without rivals and jealousies.

The grey eyed geisha was at last getting what she deserved.

If Nobu had not paid Mother a handsome sum for Hatsumomo's upkeep, I think she would have cheerfully tossed her into the street. But money and rice was dearer than ever now. So she kept silent and told Hatsumomo that she should pray for a daughter for the okiya.

A daughter that someday would take my place. Hatsumomo might have gotten her wish after all. She had wanted to tie herself permanently to the okiya through Pumpkin. A true daughter would do as well.

…

I had the small fortune of not seeing the Chairman. I don't think I could be around him without blushing. This time it was not a girl's infatuation that would make my cheeks glow red. It was the idea that the Chairman, my former idol, would stoop so low as to bed with a woman like Hatsumomo. But worse, I never thought that the Chairman would abuse Nobu's honor thus.

I saw Nobu a handful of times after the night I learned who the true father of Hatsumomo's child was. We were always in the company of other people. Nobu had encountered business troubles with the Government. They wanted his company to make fighter planes and other such things. Nobu was frantic with his efforts to show them that Imamura Electric did not have the ability to do that.

Our conversations were short and to the point. He told me vaguely of his business troubles. But mostly we talked of how much rice Mother was getting off the black market and the price of gasoline. He always inquired after my well fare. I was grateful that he was concerned with the wellbeing of our okiya. He proved Mother's words to be true. He was a good provider. We were not starving. We had enough rice to last us for some time. We even had soy sauce and dried fish.

While Nobu's behavior towards the Chairman proved to be an impediment to my sense of worth, my earthly body would not shrivel away from hunger.

Romantically, I thought about this though. I thought about my body withering away from lack of nourishment. I imagined my soul blowing about in the wind. I thought about my fragile beauty dying like wilted lilac blossoms. But then Mother would push a bowl of rice into my hands and I would give up my notions of dying. My own mother had died from stomach cancer. A slow lingering death. In my early days at the Okiya, I used to dream about her corpse. I thought about the damage that the cancer had done to her coarse, plain face.

Death was not always beautiful.

I worked harder and harder each day. I smiled at worn out and weary faces of my customers. We told jokes and played games, trying to keep light humor in the tea houses. But often the men would drink and then sing sad songs in tears.

War was a terrible thing.

So we sang songs, poured sake and worked. Using our rationed watered down make-up, our cheeks were a little less white, our lips a little more pale. Our eye brows did not stand out as darkly, like the dark shadows of butterfly wings. But we were still geisha. This was still our work.

Mother approved of my work load. It was only a matter of time before the government stopped our activities all-together. One day, as Auntie and I were sewing up some of our finer Kimonos in cotton bags to keep them from spoiling from disuse ( and to hide them from any prying officials looking for extra silk) a government agent dropped off a letter with the maid. The maid sprinted up the stairs and gave me the letter.

Auntie looked at me with mournful eyes.

It was the tidings that we had come to fear. The end of the Hamanachi in Gion. The Geisha district was to close down in a month's time and we were all to report to work in the factories. I told Auntie all of this in a slow, halting voice.

I remembered that Auntie stopped what she was doing. She rolled the Kimono that she was holding in her hands up into a ball. Tears started from her eyes. Her old shoulders hunched up and she made a small keening sound.

In all my years at the Okiya, I had never seen Auntie cry. When I was younger, she was often in charge of punishing me and Pumpkin for our infractions. The time I fell off the roof and broke my arm, she was instructed to whip me until my back was bruised.

I recall that at the time, she told me it was a kindness that it was her doing it and not Granny. I was a small child, and my mother had recently died. Auntie knew this, and yet she had no qualms about beating me for my foolishness.

She did not cry.

I did.

Years later, our roles were reversed. The world was beating at her. This life was all she knew, and it was ending for how many years the war might last.

It seemed that she had a good reason to cry now, with her world falling apart all around her.

I gently took the kimono from her hands and gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. The kimono had tear stains on it. It was one of our best, meant only for ceremonies. It might be ruined. But at that moment it seemed fitting.

"It will be alright" I told her. Her small frame shook with unvoiced sobs. I smoothed out the kimono as best I could and put it in the bag. Tomorrow it would be sewn up for many years.


	21. Chapter 21

I finished out my schedule of entertaining. Mother worked quietly with the tea mistresses to ensure that every minuet that Gion remained open, I was working.

After Auntie's initial breakdown, she maintained a stoic, stern façade. She and Mother worked hastily, ensuring that our best jewelry and kimono were either buried or stored in a warehouse deep in the country side. Mother was skeptical that the rats wouldn't get at the kimono, but at least our possessions were less likely to be burned by bombs.

Hatsumomo did nothing except lie around the Okia, drinking water and eating salty noodles. Mother let her be. She was so large that she was no good for entertaining anyway. I imagined that she was bored out of her mind, day after day, shut up in the Okia, growing a large stomach and nothing to entertain her except kabuki magazines. Pumpkin kept her company when she came home from entertaining, but she too, like me, entertained every spare second that she was not sleeping. So Hatsumomo was left by herself. She grew more irritable as her stomach increased in size. Her temper did not improve. She acted like a caged bear towards the maids.

Nobu had left Gion for business in Osaka. He left me a hastily written note telling me when he would be back and not much else. He had briefly mentioned that he had arranged for me to stay with a friend of his when Gion closed for good. He had mentioned a name, Arashino. I believe the friend was a kimono making and would welcome the help in the dye workroom.

I was used to wearing kimono. I liked them, and could appreciate their beauty, but I couldn't imagine how much help I would be in _making _them. Mameha told me that I was a fortunate woman. Nobu cared enough for me to find me a safe haven away from the bomb target that Gion would become when the government began to erect factories here.

Mameha herself was frantic with worry. The regard that the Baron had held for her began to slip away as the war progressed. He was too worried about preserving his title and estate. A geisha was not a necessary thing to his particular survival. Poor Mameha was left on her own to figure out the means of her survival when Gion was no more. I told her that I would do what I could for her, but I wasn't sure what I could offer her.

Finally the last day came. I came home from a farewell banquet in the early morning hours. For the last time, the maid helped me out of my ghetta and removed my obi. I took the special hair pieces and flowers out of my hair.

Taking out Nobu's red star comb, I wrapped it carefully in a scrap of silk and stowed it deep within my jewelry box. Tomorrow, I would wash the wax out of my hair, and my hairstyle would be a simple bun. I took small comfort in the realization that I would be able to use a normal pillow again.

With special rice paper and a bowl of warm water, I wiped away the special white make-up. Blotting my lips, I removed the red lipstick until my lips were almost colorless.

Dressed in a loose cotton shirt and black peasant pants, I looked like the neighborhood women of Yoroido, albeit much cleaner. I had not believed Hatsumomo when I was a small child that I smelled like fish, but after years of being in Kyoto and smelling the sweet perfumed odor of geisha, I knew that I had probably smelled like fish scales and other unmentionable things. But even now, my perfume bottles were close to empty. They would be dried up before the end of the month.

After carefully folding the sleeves of the kimono I had worn and putting it into a clean cotton bag, I took stock of my almost empty room. I had hidden my jewelry beneath the floorboards. My make-up stand had been dismantled and taken away for firewood. It was cheap and could be easily replaced after the war, if I ever needed it again. Only my futon stood untouched.

Mother had refused to replace the tatami mats. They were fraying and old. She thought that all of our resources should go towards food. Other okias were doing the same, keeping all their resources for food and letting the small things go, such as tatami mats and fresh incense for the alters. There was no shame in letting the once proud buildings decay. Everyone was facing the same shortage. Food was everyone's main concern.

Instead of going to sleep, I slipped downstairs to see if Mother or Auntie was up. The okiya was cold, and my cotton pants did little to keep out the chill in the air. Movement would help me keep warm better than huddling in my futon.

"Okaa-san? Are you awake?" I called softly, entering the main room.

"What are you doing up, Sayuri-san? You should be sleeping while you can." Mother was sitting at one of the tables, carefully checking the balances in the monthly ledger. She no longer smoked her pipe. Smoking tobacco was a luxury that Mother could not afford.

"Did you put your wages into the coin purse?" Mother asked, quickly blotting out a figure.

"Yes, of course."

Mother nodded and pursed her old lips.

"Good, we need every sen we can get. With Gion closing, and Hatsumomo no longer working, it will be miracle if we can get rice to last the month. When is your Danna-san coming back?"

"Soon, I hope. He had business in Osaka." I shivered. It was still quite cold.

"I wish he was here now" Mother muttered.

"Why?" I asked. I rubbed my cold arms and sat down on the tatami mats. "He can't keep Gion from closing."

"No. But he could help find places for us when the factories begin to open."

I smoothed my black pants and said nothing. Mother noticed.

"Those fine hands were not meant for working on metal scrap, Miss Nitta Sayuri-san. Auntie and I are not young, we are old women. We couldn't last a week in a service line. Not with Auntie's limp."

"And Hatsumomo?" I asked innocently.

Mother went back to working her figures.

When Mother didn't answer, I clear my throat. It was impolite, but I had to know what she would say about Hatsumomo.

"Hatsumomo will go as well if we can find a place for her. I expect your Danna will do just that."

"Yes, he would" I agreed. I knew that Hatsumomo would have a place somewhere. Nobu would find the way to finance this. I did not have the slightest doubt that Nobu would refuse the Chairman's help. He would shoulder the burden alone.

I was so angry!

The polite reserve of our culture kept me from shouting my frustration.

A small plan began budding in my mind. I stood up straighter as I realized this. The irritating itch that had bothered me since realizing that Nobu was taking responsibility for the paternity of Hatsumomo's baby, was prodding me into a new direction.

I had the name Arashino and Nobu's brief note in my memory. I did not know _when_ Nobu would be back. I did not know if he would be back. But he had ensured that I knew the name of the friend that he was intending I stay with when the factories opened.

Arashino.

At once, I knew what I had to do.


End file.
